


Miracle's Dream

by bynks



Series: Miracle's Dream [1]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Cancer, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:43:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 27,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6281455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bynks/pseuds/bynks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young girl who seemed to have no connection at all to any of them are the one who brought them together and drove them apart. She’s the one who shows them the real person they could be.</p><p>Italics are flash backs...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of the characters and I do not have any relation to the Johnny Company or personnel... This work of fiction is purely fictitious. It has nothing to do with anyone alive or dead.

She just happened to be there. She just happened to catch the glimpse of the speeding car. He stood there stunned, unable to move, unable to call for help. Time seemed to freeze around him.

"Look out..!" she dashed towards the frozen boy. Pushing him to safety while putting her life on the line. Somehow, god just refuses to take her life just then. While she had nothing to lose. And nothing to leave behind if she died. The car stopped merely an inch from her.

The driver kept apologizing and bowing in front of her. Softly she nods and smiled as a reply. "It’s fine. No one got hurt." she spoke gently. "Daijoubu desu ka?" she asked kneeling beside the boy she just so happened to helped.

As if he was snapped out of his trance, the boy nodded. "Daijoubu. Gomen nasai." he bowed down. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

The girl just smiled at him. "It’s okay. These things happens." She said as she stood up. Smiling, she extended her hand to help him up as well.

"Boku wa Tegoshi-desu." he said accepting her help.

"I’m not here to make friends." She said coldly but the smile never left her face as she walked away.

"Matte. Chotto matte kudasai." Tegoshi called the girl but she just walked ahead not even bothered by her own coldness. "Nani o kore." he mumbled to himself.

"Hontou ni. Sumimasen." the driver apologized again for the final time before fleeing the scene. Tegoshi turn around and shook his head and smiled at the driver. Knowing it was not entirely the driver’s fault. He was at fault to for being careless and spaced out.

He turned around to see the girl once again but she was already nowhere to be seen. A familiar voice calling him was getting nearer. "Tegoshi. Daijoubu ka?" his voice alarmed questioning the younger boy. Tegoshi just smiled and nodded. "Aho ka, omae?" he spoke with a harsher tone as he slapped the back of the younger boy's head.

"Eh, nani o kore?" Tegoshi questioned, rubbing the back of his head. Pouting a little.

"You were spacing out again. This MP3 player is totaled." he spoke in Japanese picking up what is left of the player. "This is your fifth one this year alone. And it’s not even October yet."

"Ahhh..." Tegoshi moaned. "Forget about that. Did you see the girl who helped me?" He questioned. The other boy looked at him quizzically. "You saw her right?" Tegoshi questioned the other man who was walking with her before she saved him.

The man just shook his head. "You must have hit your head pretty hard, Tegoshi-san." the man spoke.

"Shige she was here. I'm not delusional. She was really here." Tegoshi spoke. Shige just nodded as he pulled the younger boy towards the car.

"I'm sure she was."

* * *

As soon as he looked away she ducked into the emergency ward. She cannot afford to gain a friend. Not at a time like this. She had been told by her doctors back in the States she had no more hope. She had only months to live. That was five years ago. In those five years, she lost her best friend and her parents in an accident. But she is still alive. When her doctor told her a new form of treatment was being developed in Japan, she did not for a second hesitated to come. Money was not a matter to her. So she came. Alone.

Three years living like a guinea pig being prodded and being tested on, she felt as if she has had enough. Many times she wanted to go back. Though when she thinks about it. Back to what. There are only memories of what was. There is no one waiting for her back home. Not even a grave for her to visit.

"I’m sorry for being very cold to you Tegoshi." she spoke quietly.The lights around her started to limit into a narrow tunnel. The almost deserted place seemed gravely quiet.

Maybe her time was coming after all.

"Catherine. Where are you? Catherine. I know you're in here. Answer me." The nurse called out to her. She just smiled. Knowing that she will be found eventually. But not that very second.

* * *

Three years has passed. Yet he still could not accept her to be his younger sister. He knows she did not ask to be born. The hate that he has for is father is just unforgiveable. When his family received a letter from the American court in order to take her in without any reasons, he was the first one to go against it. Yet his mother willingly takes her in. Taking the responsibility of a mother. Yet he never once faced her himself. Neither him nor her knows what each other looks like.

"She is still your sister you know. There's no harm in just seeing her. Maybe you can change her mind." his mother’s voice rang in his ears. "She needs someone she can call family to move on just to get he will back to live. Just see her once. That’s all I'm asking from you. One time."

* * *

Two years had passed and many times he had lost hope to ever see her healthy. Not that he ever had, but at least he wanted to see her smile again. The soft and shy smile that she once had when they first met. It had been almost two weeks since he saw her last. Somehow he felt responsible for her. He knew how ever for them to have any kind of relationship would just be a dream.

Her voice has no more life as she once had. Her hope to live had been lost since she overheard the man talking about her. Yet, never once she complained. Never once she tried to take her own life until that day. He wondered what was going through her mind that very moment she stepped in front of the faceless boy.

Somehow he felt responsible for her. As though he was the only person she has to rely on.


	2. Chapter 1

The environment was gloomy that day. She was not sure was it due to the rain or was it due to the fact that she was alone on the ICU again. The soft sound of pelting rain somehow soothes her.

Her eyes darted further than that her brain can interpret, yet her mind flew to him. She worried him again. Her hands wrapped tight around her mobile phone. Deep inside she knew she was waiting for him to come again, though on the outside she would never accept it.

"Hime." The soft voice of an angel spoke to her. "I have an emergency back home. I'll see you once I get back okay. Yakusoku ne, hime-chan." The last voice mail she gotten from him almost a week ago that she listened to over and over again whenever she felt the need a reason to live.

Without fail, he had texted her every day. Somedays more than others. But sometimes the need to see and hear his voice is just too over powering for her.

Though some how the boy that stood frozen in front of the speeding car reminds her of him. His face and his voice all seemed too familiar yet she could not place him. "Tegoshi-san, sorry for the way I left you."

* * *

There was no truth in whatever he had said to his mother. On the contrary, he does care. He cared too much. It was not much of that their father left him when he was really young. It was not that he could not accept that she was her sister of the same father. He just could not cope with the fact that he will lose her.

How he wondered if he had came forth with his feeling from the beginning. Would the relationship between them really be like siblings.

“Just once. Just see her once. That’s all I’m asking from you.” The words replayed over and over in his head. “She haven’t long anymore.” Was what his mother said to him last night. He kept his act as though he does not care.

* * *

He does not know why he cared about her. She is not of any relation to him, yet she is so precious to him. Their relationship blooms beyond friendship. More than lovers. As though they were blood related. A bond that were made unbreakable.

He looked down to his hand. His mobile wrapped tight within his fingers. He was afraid that her voice would make his emotion get the better of him. Yet, without realizing, a tear fell off his cheek. He dialed her number.

On the second ring, the other line was picked up. “Moshi, moshi.” The foreign voice answered. A long pause followed their conversation. “Hello.” The voice said again snapping him out of his trance. “Anyone there?” The voice said.

“I might have the wrong number.” He said apologetically in Japanese.

“Ah, sorry. My bad. I should have said, Catherine’s phone.” The male voice replied.

“Is she okay?” He questioned worriedly.

A long pause followed by hesitation risen the tension within him. “Can I know who am I speaking to?” The voice spoke gently trying to avoid answering the question. “I’m her assigned nurse.”

“Ah. Sorry. I’m her friend. Yasuda-desu.” He answered.

“Catherine had another attack a few minutes ago; she’s being taken to the examination room right now.” The male nurse replied. “Yasuda-san, I think, she has been waiting for your call.” He started. “She has been talking about you non-stop for the past few days.”

Yasuda stood stunned. Could his hunch really be real. “When she wakes up, tell her I’m coming. Tell her that, she has to keep fighting.” He said quickly before ending the call.

He ran out of his hotel room and knocks the door next to his. “Ryo. Ryo open up.” He banged the door loudly waking up the other members in the nearby room. “Ryo, we have to go back to Tokyo tonight.” He said.

“Nan desu ka, omae.” Nishikido said opening his door sleepily. “You’re going to, no you woke everyone up.” He said rubbing his eyes. “Why do we have to go back tonight?

“Sakura-chan. Had an attack.” Yasuda answered simply with his eyes pleading for the younger boy to understand his urgency. “I have to go to Tokyo tonight.”

Ryo’s sleepy eyes went wide. “Chotto. When did you know this?” He asked. After a blink, he changed his mind about the question he posed. “Never mind. There’s no way we’re going to get tickets tonight.” He spoke.

Ueda who was listening to the conversation came towards them. Nishikido and himself has never really been fighting but neither him nor Nishikido had ever admitted that. “Hey, it might be only one, you can have mine.” He said softly to Yasuda. “It’s leaving at 9. You have about an hour. You better get ready to quickly if you want to still catch it.”

A sincere smile that Nishikido had never seen flashed from Ueda before. He himself was not sure why the rivalry that had kept them apart. Yasuda looked like he was on the verge of tears but his pride stood in the way and he just stood there frozen.

“Nishikido-kun, try and ask Koki or Kame if they’d change places with you.” Ueda suggested as he walked away from the two desperate men.

“Ueda.” Yasuda called. Ueda turned and face them again. “Arigatou, na. Honma ni. Arigatou.” Yasuda spoke bowing down.

“Its fine, I’m not in a rush to go home anyways. It was just my luck I was in the first trip.” Ueda replied as his eyes glanced briefly at Nishikido who was still too prideful to say anything to him.

* * *

He came home to an empty house. Apparently, his mother was at the hospital again. He sighed as he sat his tired body on the couch. A note was stuck at the television set. ‘I’m at the hospital; your sister had another major attack. If you are reading this, means that you’re home early. There are some food in the oven.-mom-‘

He stood up and checked the oven. He shook his head as he sees two sets of untouched food. She must have left in a hurry; she did not even have her dinner. “She’s not your child mom. Why are you doing this to yourself?” He muttered to himself.

The rang of his mobile phone startled him. The caller did not even say the greetings. “Sir, this is the last dialed number on this mobile. The owner is unconscious suddenly. We are on the way to Tokyo University Hospital. Can you meet us there?” The woman on the other line said.

Without hesitation, he agreed. However, a little surprised, that she did not realized that the owner is a Japanese idol. Quickly he scribbled on the piece of paper then suddenly remembering that his mother is already at the hospital.

A sudden question popped in his head. How can he value his friend more than his sister, even though she is from a different mother. She is still his younger sister.


	3. Chapter 2

Yasuda froze as he saw the woman came out from Catherine’s room. “Nan desu ka.” He mumbled to himself. He wondered could it be his tired mind playing tricks on him or could the brother that Catherine really wanted to see had been so close that he never realized it.

His eyes trailed the lifeless body as it lays a sleep. “Sumimasen.” A familiar voice spoke to him. “Yasuda-san. You cannot be here. Its way past visiting time and right now, visiting is only for family members only.” The soft-spoken female nurse told him.

He felt a sudden rush of blood to his head, feeling his face redden with anger and disappointment. “It’s fine. He is one.” A male nurse inferred before Yasuda had the chance to speak. “I’m sorry.” He bowed down.

“How is she doing?” Yasuda spoke finally.

“Her condition is stable, but the worse is not over yet.” The male nurse explained. The other nurse bowed and walked away.

Yasuda just nodded. “The person who just came out of the room. Who was she?” Yasuda questioned the man as they walked side by side towards Catherine.

The man just smiled as he spoke. “When Catherine came here, she was orphaned. In her mother’s will, she was given to the lady who came just now. But no one really knows who she really is or their relation. Although, she holds the medical rights to Catherine right now until she turns eighteen. Why?” He questioned.

Yasuda just shook his head. “Nothing. I just thought I’ve seen her before. Thank you, for letting me see her.” He spoke before the male nurse was excused. For a few moments, he was left alone with Catherine, Yasuda felt foreign and useless. He just stood at the foot of the bed frozen, unable to move. A soft touch fell on his back as a tear dropped from the pool that formed in his eyes.

“She’s going to be fine.” Nishikido spoke softly. He felt the crippling pain that was growing inside the man in front of him. Yasuda rarely ever showed his real emotion in front of anyone, much less shedding tears for a person. With his right hand, he squeezed Yasuda’s left shoulders gently. “Everything is going to turn out fine.” He said again as if he was trying to make himself believe in his words.

“I heard, Tegoshi collapsed. I would understand if you would want to go and tend him.” Yasuda cleared his throat before speaking. “I’ll be here.”

“He’s with Yamapi. Probably he was just over exhausted again. It was not the first time this month he had collapsed . It’s you I’m worried about.” Nishikido spoke sincerely.

Yasuda turned and look at the other man. “Eh?” He replied questioning Nishikido with his eyes.

Nishikido smiled. “It’s not like you to be worried like this. And it’s definitely not like you to be acting brashly like this.” He spoke. Yasuda’s eyes drops. “Shota, I understand that she is special to you but there are things that are in evitable in the world. Furthermore, you are not even related to her.” Nishikido said. It was lightning fast that Yasuda’s hand was at his throat. “Hey. What the…” Nishikido fought against his friend.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Yasuda spoke harshly. “Don’t you ever speak to me like that again.” He hissed.

“Yasu.” A weak voice spoke calling him. Yasuda’s wrath instantly was calmed. “Gomen ne.” She spoke again. Still Yasuda was unable to face her. “I caused you and everyone such trouble. I made you worried again.” She continued.

Nishikido just stood frozen. He hated the fact that he is too front with his words. He hated that his sharp tongue always was the reason he was in trouble. Now with one of his best friend. “Ryo-chan mo. Gomen nasai.” Catherine spoke.

Yasuda gradually released his fist and turned, hoping to god to give him the strength that instant to face her. He was not sure how much of their conversation had she heard. “Daijoubu ka, omae?” He finally found his voice. Slowly he stepped towards the side.

“I’m not going to break you know.” Catherine said as she turned away from Yasuda. Nishikido who was standing frozen near the window came forth as well. Gently Yasuda cupped her face to face him. All he did was stared at her without words. But his heart’s content was conveyed sent straight to her. “I’m fine now.” She said innocently. A soft smile curved on his face. “Ryo-chan. Arigatou, ne for bringing him here.”

Nishikido just smiled. “You scared him. You scared us both.” He spoke. “I’m sorry for what I said.” He spoke quickly and went out of the room. The was not much on his mind at that moment. The scene that happened ran through his head over and over again. She might have heard what he said, yet she was so calm about it. The only other person that popped into his mind at that moment was Ueda.

* * *

He glanced at the clock and the arms were showing it was past two in the morning. The plane have landed hours ago and he knew they arrived there safely. Though for some reason, he wanted to hear from him. Was he fine. A hunch told him to just call him, yet he knew he was no one to him and it would be weird for him to suddenly care.

A text came in just in time to save him from going insane battling with himself. ‘Are you awake?’ the text read. The number although has not been saved in his phone memory, it was seared in his. He smiled to himself. He was not being in the zone alone it seems.

‘Nani?’ He replied instantly. A small curve formed on his lips. Holding on to his mobile phone as if it was his life.

A minute passed and the text was not replied. He was about to give up any hope that moment for the person on the other line to ever be his friend. Though a sudden call startled him. “Why are you still awake?” The raspy voice spoke on the other end of the line.

The smile that was about to be erased from his face became bigger. “No reason. Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” He asked skeptically, slightly amused.

A short laugh came as a reply. “Thank you for giving Yasuda the tickets.” Nishikido spoke. He was known for his sharp tongue but he is also well known for his inability to speak at times.

“It’s fine really. It was not as if I needed to rush home anyways. Besides most of the my group members are still here.” Ueda replied. “Nishikido.” He spoke as Nishikido said his name at the same time. “Ah, gomen. Nani?” He asked. He was not sure of the reason that he is always giving in to this man.

“Gomen.” Nishikido spoke. “Hey, how about I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Maybe we can talk about stuff over lunch.” He said as he suddenly felt himself blushing.

“Hai. I’ll be waiting at the airport then.” Ueda spoke softly. Silence fell upon them again for a moment. Yet the silence felt dense. “See you tomorrow then.” He said breaking the silence.

“Yeah.” Nishikido replied as they ended their conversation.

* * *

Yamashita came to the hospital as quickly as he could. As soon as he parked his car, he dashed to the emergency ward. Tegoshi who was half-awake became fully aware as he saw Yamashita’s face. “Gomen nasai.” he spoke as his pale face blushed slightly.

“You’re really going to get in trouble one of these days, you know.” Yamashita said sternly but gently. He understood the young boy’s need to strive to be the best in everything he does. He was once like that as well. But he knew his limits. Yet Tegoshi has been stretching himself too thin lately.

Tegoshi looked a little surprise to see Yamashita unexpected reaction. “Ano, why are you here? How did you know?” He asked sitting up a little straighter.

“A girl called me. You fainted at the car park. How do you think you got here?” Yamashita questioned the dazed boy. “What do you remember actually?” he asked the boy. Tegoshi scrunched his forehead trying to remember. Though nothing came to mind. He had no memory of ever getting back to Tokyo. Yamashita let out a smirk at the boy. “Funny thing she doesn't recognize you at all though.”

“Why is it funny?” Tegoshi asked innocently. Yamashita just shook his head.

“Ah, sir. You must be the person I called.” A foreign girl said as she came in the room and sat Tegoshi’s things on the table. “I’m sorry, but I had to take the taxi. I guess your car is still at the airport.” She said as she hands him his key.

“Arigatou, ne. What’s your name by the way?” Tegoshi replied. The girl just smiled back.

“Catherine.” She spoke.

“Wait. Why are you here?” Yamashita spoke suddenly.

The girl just smiled. “I found him and it’s not right to just leave him alone.” She replied. “Why?”

“You are not a regular at this hospital are you?” Yamashita asked suddenly. The girl just shook her head. “Is there a reason for you choosing this hospital in particular?” He asked.

Catherine let out a laugh. “Seriously you’re asking me that.” She asked. Yamashita’s serious facial expression did not change a bit. “I’m an intern here. I’m doing nursing, and I was put under an international student exchange program to come here.” She answered before bidding the boys goodbye.

Yamashita face fell. He had seen the wrong person. He so close yet he had not the courage to face her. He could not. Realizing that Tegoshi got off the bed and kneeling beside him. “You’ve been acting weird lately.” He started. “What is it that’s bothers you so much?”  He questioned the older boy.

Yamashita just shook his head. “Just go to bed, and get better.” Yamashita spoke softly and carefully not to let his broken voice heard.

“Her name is Catherine isn’t it, Pi?” Tegoshi asked suddenly. Yamashita looked at him puzzled. “You asked me once, if a person you never met can you call her a family. Her name is Catherine isn’t it?” He asked again. Yamashita stood frozen.


	4. Chapter 3

The sun rises brightly that morning. He had not been asleep ever since the phone call made to him the night before. His heart beating faster as the hours passed and closer for them to meet. He had never felt about him that way before.

“Why aren’t you ready yet?” Tanaka said bursting in Ueda’s room. “It’s just a flight with us you know, there is really no need to dress up as much.” He continued as he sees the once packed clothes laid messily on the ground and half naked Ueda staring at them. “Unless…” He spoke without the intention of ever finishing his sentence.

Ueda blushed slightly at the comment. It had never been a problem to him to dress himself up in any circumstances, but today was different. He needed to be in his best appearance. He wanted Nishikido to like him. “This would not look too weird would it?” He asked finally picking up a pale purple tank top to be matched with a checked blue – purple shirt.

Picking up from his hand, Tanaka scrunched his forehead. It was not like Ueda to dress so conservatively. He likes the eccentricity that the usual Ueda wore. Something that he would not dare to wear in public but not for Ueda, he does not care at all what other people thinks about him. “Who is the lucky girl?” Tanaka asked finally.

“Eh?” Ueda responded. “What girl?” He asked.

“You’re not dressing up for nothing are you?” Tanaka replied.

Ueda forced a laugh. “There is no one.” He said ducking the question. “Ah, should I just wear what I usually wear?” He asked again. Smiling Tanaka nodded. Though the sly smile and him not moving from his spot made Ueda a little self-conscious.

“If she likes you, it would not matter what you wear would it?” Tanaka said finally as he picks up the scattered clothes and gathers them for Ueda. “She’s one lucky girl.”

“There is no girl, Koki.” Ueda said again. Tanaka just nodded understandingly. “Ryo asked me to lunch.” He blurted out. “But you can never tell anyone about this. Not one soul.” He stressed.

Tanaka’s eyes went wide as he heard Nishikido’s name. “Ryo-chan?” He asked. Ueda just nodded as he got dressed in front of the full length mirror. “Ryo-chan as in Dokkun, Ryo-chan?” He asked again making sure.

“Ryo as in the one and only Nishikido Ryo.” Ueda spoke. Tanaka could see his friend blushed slightly as he said Nishikido’s name. “It has been years since the incident you know. It’s not like we never talked to each other at all, and it’s not like we’re enemies or anything.” Ueda said quickly.

Tanaka smirked as he sat on the edge of the bed looking at Ueda acting out of his usual sort. “Why on earth would you be blushing talking about Ryo-chan?” Tanaka teased. Quickly Ueda turned his face away from Tanaka. “Tat-chan, could it be?”

“No.” Ueda quickly snapped at him. “It’s not what you think. He’s just thanking me for the ticket exchanged I made with Yasuda-kun.” Ueda reasoned quickly. He knew he had done it this time. He wonders what is it about Nishikido that makes him so attracted to him.

* * *

He had not slept the whole night. He had not moved an inch from the place he sat talking with Catherine the night before. The slightest movements alarmed him, she slightest change in her heart rhythm scares him.

_“There is no reason for you to be feeling sad.” The young girl said approaching him. “It’s not up to humans to judge the length of their time on earth.” She said wisely. Through her accent, he could tell she was not raised in Japan._

_His eyes had been puffy from all the crying from the night before. He was very close with his grandmother. He should have accepted it better. He should have known it better from everyone else. He had seen her suffered all those years being confined to the wheelchair and her final years on a bed. Yet, he could not accept it._

_The girl brought a smile to his face for the first time that week. “Boku wa, Sakura desu.” She said holding out her hand innocently. That had cracked him up. Now he really knows that she is a foreigner._

_“Shota desu.” He said embracing her instead. “You’re not a guy. You shouldn’t have said ‘boku’. That’s a man’s word.” He spoke as she pulled away from him. She giggled shyly as she looked down._

_“Ah, sumimasen. I am still learning.” She spoke shyly in her own tongue. “Why are you sad? Are you sick too?” She asked. Yasuda shook his head. “Your arms, is it painful?” She asked looking at the bandage around his left wrist. Consciously he hid it with his other hand._

_“Catherine. You shouldn’t bother other people. And you’re not supposed to be out of bed.” A male nurse said softly as he lowered down to her height to speak to her._

_Catherine sighed. “But the weather is so pretty today.” She pouted as she spoke. Then she looked at Yasuda. “Am I bothering you?” She asked innocently. Yasuda smiled as he shook his head. “See, I’m not bothering him.” She reasoned. “Let me stay out here for another five minutes please.” She pleaded. “It has been more than a week since the treatment started.” She pleaded._

_The male nurse finally gave in as she moved closer to Yasuda. “Five minutes. I’ll be nearby okay.” He said before leaving her with Yasuda. Her pouty mouth turned into a bright smile as she nodded. “No running.” He warned before going out of hearing range._

_“Actually, I wanted to give this back to you.” Catherine said handing Yasuda his guitar pick that he thought he had lost. “It fell when you tried to hurt yourself with the guitar string.” She said._

If it had not been for that day, he might have thought of doing the same thing over again until he succeeded. Somehow, looking at her fighting to live and battling her pain every day made him changed his mind.

“You didn’t sleep again did you?” Catherine’s voice broke as she spoke groggily. “I made you stay up again.” She spoke guiltily.

Yasuda just smiled lazily. “How are you feeling today?” He asked.

Catharine sighed. “As usual, tired. But fine I guess.” She said slowly. “Sho-chan, What Ryo said yesterday has some truth in it.” Catherine said as she sat up on her bed. “You shouldn’t have done that to him though.” Yasuda looked down to his coloured fingers fidgeting with them. “Na, Sho-chan. You kept your promise remember. It’s my intention to keep mine too you know.” Yasuda’s eyes became glassy.

Catherine looked at the table beside her bed. Her calm face changed worried. “What’s wrong?” Yasuda asked her as he stood up and rushed to her side. “Sakura-chan. Daijoubu ka?” He asked.

“My necklace.” Catherine answered at once. “My necklace.” Her heart beat raced bordering to a heart attack.

“It’s with me. It’s with me.” Yasuda spoke quickly his hand fishing in his pocket. Slowly her heart beat calmed as she sees the guitar pick that strung upon a black sting was in Yasuda’s hand. “You kept it.” He smiled.

“Sho-chan is what makes me want to keep on living now.” Catherine said as she took the warmth of Yasuda’s body as she embraced him. Taking in his scent that she could never forget.

* * *

Quietly Nishikido opened the door to the room where Tegoshi was supposedly to be resting. The curtain enclosing the bed was fully closed. He decided to wait patiently instead of waking up the younger boy like he used to do.

The sudden movement and whispers within the curtain stunned him. “Pi?” He asked recognizing the other man’s voice. Quickly the tore the curtain open. The view of Tegoshi leaning on Yamashita’s chest seared his mind. “What the hell?” He spoke aloud.

“He was… he was just…” Tegoshi stammered.

Nishikido quickly turned his back to them. “It’s not like we’re doing inappropriate things.” Yamashita spoke nonchalantly.

“The view first ting in the morning. You really made my day.” Nishikido spoke through hi fits of laughter. “Can you guys be anymore mushy?” He said suddenly regretting the fact that he had came to see the young boy. For a moment the event that happened the night before seemed to float away from his mind. The matter he was about to talk about to Yamashita also left his mind.


	5. Chapter 4

He walked slightly behind from his group members. He did not know why suddenly a wave of regret came over him for agreeing to meet up with Nishikido that afternoon. “Daijoubu ka?” A raspy voice man greeted him from behind as he exited the arrival hall. The sudden intake of his scent made Ueda’s mind froze.  
  
Quietly the two of them ducked from the group and the visible paparazzi that were waiting for them. Nishikido flashed his charming smile as he opened the door to the passenger side for Ueda. “Arigatou.” Ueda spoke as he entered the car.  
  
Nishikido was acting a little weird even for himself. He had no idea why his nerves were very jumpy as his eyes glances at Ueda. Though, he could not take his eyes off the man beside him. “Ah, gomen ne, for calling you so late yesterday.” Nishikido started.   
  
His heart flutters for the first time in years with the ring of Nishikido’s voice. “I wasn’t asleep yet. It doesn’t matter.” He spoke softly. Deep inside him, he was dying to know why the cynical man was so broken and so down since the last time they met. “What’s wrong, Ryo?” Ueda asked gently as his hand reached for Nishikido’s hand.  
  
His touch to him was electric. He felt like a sudden surge of life was injected through his fingers. His eyes started to water again and he could feel that his foot on the fuel pedal was easing and the car was slowing down a little steadily.   
  
Realizing the tense atmosphere, Ueda pulled back his hand. “I’m sorry.” He apologized without thinking.   
  
“Why?” Nishikido asked. Ueda just shrugged his shoulders. “Why do you have to keep saying sorry to me when you had never done anything wrong to me. You keep apologizing for my mistakes and my bad words.” Nishikido said. His tears betrayed him as they ran freely down his cheek. Ueda sighed softly. He dare not say nor do anything until the car comes to a halt.   
  
The few silent minutes in the car felt like eternity for Nishikido. Finally, they arrived at the restaurant where he usually comes with his Kansai group members to have their feast if they were celebrating some silly occasions. With a gentle smile on his face and an equally tender touch, Ueda wiped the tears off Nishikido’s face. “Na, Ryo. Saying sorry is not a bad thing you know.” He said softly. “Sometimes, you just need to say it just to make the time better just for that moment.”  
  
With the pad of his thumb, he could feel the hollow of Nishikido’s eyes and cheek. Nishikido has been stretching himself as he always does. Ueda realizes that his words and actions sometimes became sharper with the stress building inside him. He does not blame him though. He was working enough as it is with hi tow different groups but he still takes up drama projects and movies. That was one of the reason he never took what Nishikido said to him personally. Though sometimes it hurts really badly and he cries, but over time, he got over it.   
  
“You ought to take care of yourself better you know. With, Yasuda-san needing you the most now, you cannot afford to get sick.” Ueda said as his hand soothingly caressed Nishikido’s hair. Finally unable to control his pent up emotion, Nishikido gave up and cried on Ueda’s shoulders. Being a good friend at that moment, Ueda just let him, he did not even tried to stop him. He believed that there would be a moment that Nishikido will finally feel better and may confide in him. Although his heart was jumping with the thought of it, he kept his exterior calm. 

* * *

Yasuda stared down at his hand. He did not know what got over him the night before when he attacked Nishikido. He tried a couple of time to call him to apologise but his mobile were turned off. He of all people should be used to Nishikido’s harsh words, yet yesterday he felt like something else got over him. Lately, he realised that he is really short tempered despite the happy face he had been putting on for the world to see. The slightest thing ticks him off.  
  
After a few moments alone, he came back in Catherine’s room. Catherine had seems to be the same cheerful self that he used to know. He knew though, she was like him in a way. She did not want anyone else to feel her pain.   
  
“I missed that.” Yasuda said as he sat beside Catherine on the bed. Catherine just leaned her head to his chest and looked at him questioningly. “That smile.” He replied softly. “When I’m just too tired to move on or I am just about to give up, when I remember that smile, I would never do such things.” He said. “Why are you so happy?” He asked.  
  
Catherine’s smile grew wider. “They are letting me out tomorrow at the latest. Sensei said that, I do not have to stay here anymore. I can go back to school.” She said excitedly. Yasuda sighed. “Nani? Why are you making that face?” She teased.  
  
“I can’t visit you at the school, can I?” Yasuda asked.   
  
“Naze?” Catherine asked innocently.   
  
“The visiting time and all.” Yasuda answered.   
  
“But I don’t want to stay here.” Catherine pouted.  
  
“You know.” Yasuda started as his fingers plays with Catherine’s hair softly. “Why not take a week or two off and come to Osaka with me.” Yasuda suggested. Catherine’s face lit up instantly. “For the time being you can stay with me.” He said.  
  
Catherine looked at him expectantly. “Majide?” She asked not believing what she just heard. Yasuda nodded. “Ah, sugoi. Ah, how about your work? You still have to work right?” She asked.  
  
“Only for tomorrow. You can meet Tacchon then.” Yasuda teased.   
  
“Eh…” Catherine blushed a little. “Dame yo.” She said shyly. “Where’s Ryo-chan? Since yesterday, I haven’t seen him yet.”

  
“I don’t know. I tried to call him but he turned off his phone.” Yasuda replied.   
  
Catherine made the ‘tsk’ sound repeatedly. “See… you should learn to control your outburst. But what he said was not totally wrong you know. You should look after yourself too.” She said quickly adding the later part. “Ah, I should tell obachan that I’m going with you when I get discharged.”   
  
Yasuda just held her, not letting her go. “You can do that later. I haven’t cleared with your doctor yet.” Yasuda spoke. Catherine just nodded and wrapped her hands around Yasuda.   
  
“Ano, Yasu, do you think my oniichan hates me?” Catherine asked suddenly. She has been saying that phrase since they got close to each other years before. That was the first time she asked him. “I got a feeling that he does not hate me just that he is scared that I’ll leave him like my father did.” 

* * *

The morning call by Nishikido was a real embarrassment. Tegoshi stuttering does not make it any better and Yamashita’s cool guy act just worsen the situation. “Do you think he will tell everyone?” Tegoshi asked.  
  
Yamashita just shrugged. “Why are you being so embarrassed? It’s not like we did anything wrong.” He said.   
  
“He’s Ryo. He has no sense of mortification. He’ll just do it a gag for our MC or something. That’s what I’m embarrassed about.” Tegoshi spoke. Yamashita just laughed. “Seriously you think this is funny?”   
  
Yamashita shook his head. “He won’t do that. I’ll make sure of it.” He said gently. “Now, just get ready will you, I’ll have my mother to answer to later.” Tegoshi just nodded. “I’m sending you back. Give me your keys, and I’ll fetch your car for you.” He instructed.   
  
“I’m not your pet that you can order around. Just send me to my car and I’ll be fine okay.” Tegoshi replied.  
  
“And I’m not your butler that you can order to send you anywhere you want to go.” Yamashita uttered. “What? Don’t you trust me with your car?” He questioned.  
  
“It’s not a matter of trust, Pi. You are treating me like a kid.” Tegoshi said a little annoyed.   
  
Yamashita sighed. “I’m just worried. I still don’t think you should drive though.” Yamashita said. Tegoshi just smiled and handed Yamashita his keys. Tegoshi wondered why he always gives in to Yamashita in the end.   
  
Together they walked to Yamashita’s car. “Chotto, ne.” Tegoshi said suddenly as he saw the girl that saved him the other day. “Yasuda-san?” Tegoshi said. “Yasuda.” Tegoshi called. Yasuda who was leisurely walking with a young girl by his side turned. The girl seemed to recognize him.   
  
“I thought you were fine.” Catherine said a little surprised. “You know him?” She looked up to Yasuda. Yasuda just nodded.

  
Tegoshi pulled Yamashita towards them. “Why did you run away that day?” He asked. The girl just smiled.   
  
“Atashi wa Sakura-desu.” She said smiling as she offered her hand. “I was scared because I didn’t know who you were.” She said.   
  
Yamashita knelt to her height. “How can a tiny thing like you save this big thing?” He questioned Catherine. She just shrugged. Without knowing, the two siblings met. Though neither of them knew who each other were.


	6. Chapter 5

“Bring her back here at first sign of trouble.” The greying doctor spoke. “Here’s the address of a doctor in Osaka. Of something were to happen while you are there, bring her there immediately.” he instructed. Yasuda just nodded. He knew firsthand the responsibility he was going to hear with her in his care. “About her foster mother, you don’t have to worry. I’ll let her know.”  
  
“Ah... Arigatou sensei. Ano, is there any news about her brother?” Yasuda asked.  
  
The doctor just smiled. “He refuses to come. But she doesn’t ask about him anymore though. She keeps saying Yasuda-san is her brother.” the doctor replied.  
  
Catherine sat on the edge of the bed patiently waiting for Yasuda’s return. “Are you sure about this?” she asked.  
  
“About what?” Yasuda questioned her as he picked her things and packing them. Catherine hesitates to answer instantly. “Sakura-chan is my little sister, yes?” he said as he sat beside her. A smile curved on her face instantly. “Is that all?” he asked. Catherine just nodded.  
  
Catherine curled her arm around Yasuda’s waist as she leaned on his chest. "Arigatou ne, Shota-kun.” She said quietly. “If it wasn’t for you and Ryo-chan, I don’t know if I could have lived this long.”  
  
“Eh..? What are you saying?” Yasuda questioned.  
  
Catherine smiled. “Ryo-chan, you can just come in you know.”Catherine called aloud. Nishikido gently opened the door as he pulled Ueda by his side.  
  
“How did you know?” Nishikido asked.  
  
Catherine just smirked. “Your voice is loud, Ryo-chan.” she said. “Thank you for picking me up ne. Gomen ne for troubling you again.” She apologized.  
  
“Did I not tell you to call me anytime you need anything?” Nishikido said slightly annoyed. Catherine just stuck her tongue out. “Ah, this is my friend Ueda.” Nishikido said almost forgetting the existence of Ueda beside him. “That tiny brat connected to Yasu is Sakura-chan.”  
  
“I am not a brat.” Catherine pouted as she looked at Yasuda for back up. Yasuda just smiled at her. “Ueda-kun, ha ji me ma shi te?” Catherine questioned herself as she jumped down from her bed to face Ueda.  
  
“She’s still learning Japanese even after three years living here.” Nishikido teased. “The American side of her is so much thicker than her Japanese side.”  
  
“That’s fine. I can speak English better than those two.” Ueda said kneeling down to come to her height.

* * *

The Kanjani8’s and NewS' room were purposely placed side by side so it was easier for Nishikido to run from one meeting to another. Unlike other group, these two groups can never do a concurrent meeting. Fortunately enough the bonds between the kansai boys were beyond their performing world. Their meets never last more than an hour during normal days.  
  
The minute she entered the Kansai boys meeting room, Catherine could feel her face crimsoned slightly. Since the first time she saw the members Ōkura had caught her attention. “Tacchon is not here yet.” Nishikido teased her.  
  
Ueda eyed the other man as they went their separate ways. Knowing very well there is going to be more personal meeting between them. Catherine squinted at Nishikido as she hit his hand. “He’s here. His shoes are here.” She mumbled.  
  
Yasuda just laughed at the two kids in front of him. “I knew you wanted to see him.” Nishikido said loudly. “Na, Saku-chan, I need to talk to Yasu for a second. You go in first, ne.” He said a little more seriously. Catherine just nodded as she entered the room.  
  
The men who were sitting in the room who was happily laughing stopped. “Eh…” Was the first thing that came out of Maruyama’s mouth? Catherine just smiled. “You came alone?” He asked suddenly becoming serious and frantically searching for his mobile phone.  
  
“Hello.” Catherine smiled shyly. “I came with Ryo-chan and Sho-chan.” She said as she advances further towards the group. “They are talking about me outside, that I’m not supposed to hear.” She continued as a loud bang was heard outside.  
  
In an instant the five men and Catherine head for the door looking at what was happening. All they saw was Yasuda red with anger and Nishikido looked like a little scared chicken.  
  
“How long have you know?” Yasuda asked controlling his anger. Murakami held on to Catherine, he was afraid that she might run towards the boys. Nishikido just kept quiet. “Why didn’t you tell me, Ryo?”  
  
Nishikido turned his face not able to meet Yasuda’s eyes. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell either one of you. He still does not know that Sakura is his sister. I’m not planning on telling him either. It’s just that I’m concerned with the way you are taking care of yourself now.” He replied.  
  
Catherine turned and looked at the boys surrounding her, her eyes glassy brimming with tears. “I did it again didn’t I?” she spoke. Murakami hoisted her up and wiped away her tears.  
  
“Na, Saku-chan. If Yasu sees you crying, he’s just going to be more worried. Ne. Those guys are always like that. They’ll make up in no time though.” Murakami said as he carried the young girl back inside and sat her on his lap.  
  
“I’m really sorry for bringing all these sadness and pain to you guys.” Catherine spoke.  
  
“Saku-chan, you made us closer than we have ever been before. Out of one painful moment you gave us, there were at least fifteen great times you gave us.” Ōkura knelt down in front of Murakami as he spoke.  
  
“Hontou ni?” Catherine asked looking at the men surrounding her. They nodded.

* * *

Yamashita sat at home that night. Somehow, he could not get the image of the young girl he saw this morning out of his head. Her face was so pure and her smile was so innocent. Yet something about her that he could not place.

  
Tegoshi moved beside him. “Why aren’t you asleep yet?” he questioned in a whispery groggy voice. Yamashita just shook his head. “You’re thinking about her again aren’t you?” he asked.  
  
“The girl that saved you.” Yamashita started. “There’s something familiar about her. I can’t place what but I just could not take her out if my mind.” He said quietly. “I’m totally not making any sense am I?”  
  
Tegoshi just smiled. “You never make sense in the middle of the night.” He spoke. “Let’s just sleep it off and we’ll go see her tomorrow. Maybe you can remember better. Sakura is a special girl isn’t she?” Yamashita just shrugged his shoulders. Tegoshi gave up trying to get back to sleep as he sighed. “Do you even know how old is your sister? I mean what else do you know about her beside her name is Catherine.” Tegoshi asked.   
  
Yamashita looked down upon his hand, fiddling with it while thinking back. “We share the same father; she has to be around twenty at most.” He said.   
  
“Pi, you told me once your father left you when you were ten.” Tegoshi reasoned. “She can’t be more than fifteen.” Tegoshi said. “You should not be looking for a teenager, you know. Maybe you should be looking at the pediatric ward instead.” Tegoshi said as he playfully wrapped his hand around Yamashita from the back. Grazing his nose on Yamashita’s neck. Breathing calmly as he did it.   
  
Yamashita felt his heartbeat quicken. Somehow, he liked the feeling. He reached his hand back till it reached Tegoshi’s neck as Tegoshi stopped and Yamashita turned to face the younger boy. Though at that moment there was not an inch on his body looked like a boy. He was fully a matured man to Yamashita’s eyes.  
  
Their lips grazed for the first time. Yamashita’s composed breathing turned labored. Their lips almost meet when Tegoshi pulled away. “Yuya.” Yamashita called. Tegoshi just smirked at him slyly as he got up from the pulled out couch and head to the kitchen. “Why do you have to be such a tease?” He asked. Tegoshi just shrugged. “Are you coming back?” He asked again.  
  
“Are you going to sleep or are you just going to trick me into making out with you again?” Tegoshi questioned back. Yamashita just pouts his lips at the younger boy. Tegoshi shook his head.   
  
Yamashita sighed. “Then why did you tease me?” He sulked.   
  
“Because you were being such a big baby, Pi.” Tegoshi laughed. At that moment, he was so relieved that they were at Yamashita’s apartment and not his family house. Lazily Tegoshi walked back at the sulking man as he wrapped his hand around him from behind and kissed his cheek. “Now, now. You’re going to look like Ryo if you keep sulking like that.” Tegoshi teased as he pulled him to bed with his body wrapped in Tegoshi’s arms.


	7. Chapter 6

He stared at the foreign ceiling as various thoughts played in his hear. He wondered to himself why did he even tell Yasuda about Yamashita. It was not like the relationship between Yasuda and Yamashita was great to begin and he had no intention to see them fight. Somehow, in his mind, if he tells Yasuda about it, it will just make it better.   
  
_The elderly woman came out of the hospital room in a rush. He had to come in place of Yasuda that day to visit Catherine. “Ryo-kun.” The elder woman said, surprised to see him. Nishikido was shocked as well to see her.  
  
“Yamashita-san. Why are you here?” Nishikido questioned. Catherine had told himself and Yasuda that she does not have any relative in Japan. It was then that he got to know that Yamashita had shared a same biological father with Catherine. However, her life story goes beyond that. She never even met her biological father.   
  
“His father left us when Tomo-chan was about ten years old. It was around that same time that I lost contact with my best friend. It was not until roughly five years later a letter came to my house. My best friend just found out that she was in a relationship with my ex-husband that abandoned us. Six months later, I received another letter saying that he had left her in labor with their six and a half months premature baby.” Yamashita’s mother told the whole story to Nishikido.   
  
“But her name is not Akira.” Nishikido reasoned.   
  
“When she was two, her mother remarried an American man. They both loved her very much. It was not five months ago that they were involved in an accident. I was willed her custody, but I can’t take another child and Tomo-chan cannot know about this.” She replied. She was practically begging Nishikido to keep their occurrence a secret.  
_  
She did not want her son to know that she was not going to take her given responsibility. It was then he felt that Yasuda and himself could somehow fill the empty spaces that exist in Catherine’s life. Though at that moment neither one of them could fill the void that existed within her. She needed her brother.   
  
Over the years, the little secret grew bigger and bigger. Somehow, he was the one that Catherine could trust with her secret and to confide with, while Yasuda gradually grew to be like her brother, until the point that she said he is her brother.   
  
There was a reason for why she really wanted to see him. She wanted him to know her side of the story. A story that should never have been seared into the memory of a six years old girl. She wanted so badly just to see his face and find a reason to live on.   
  
_The moment that she said, “My brother would never want to see me not because I’m sick, he doesn’t want to see me because he thought I took his father from him. I want him to know that it is not true. I want him to know that because of our father and what he did to both of us, I never had the intention of living on. Even worse, when my parents that brought me up left me for better place beside god, I have lost all the reason why I should hold on. That was until I met Sho-chan and you. I don’t need to know my brother anymore now, because replaced him with two very special brothers for me. But I need to see him before I die to let him know that there are things that were left for him.”_  
  
Since the day he met Yamashita’s mother and knew her side of the story and the side that Catherine told him, he felt torn on whether to tell Yamashita. He could not tell them to Yasuda either. Within the calm surface of his friend he of all people knew there lay a boiling hot-tempered man inside waiting to burst out.   
  
Feeling sick to his stomach at that moment, he picked up his phone and called up his friend. It was almost two in the morning but he knew Yasuda is not the kind to be sleeping early. Especially with Catherine under his care. He picked up after the second ring. “I’m sorry to drop this on you and make you keep it quiet.” Nishikido spoke quickly without even saying hello.  
  
The person on the other end of the line just remained silent. Yasuda was working hard to find out who Catherine’s brother was and for Nishikido to know who he was and not tell him, just pisses him off. Knowing Nishikido, he must have had his reason. Although, it always seemed that he had to tell the fact at the wrong time.  
  
“Shota, please. You have to promise me not to tell anyone else about this. Especially not Pi. He has to know her on his own terms.” Nishikido pleaded.   
  
The voice on the other line just sighed. “Don’t worry about it.” Shibutani spoke in a whispery voice.   
  
“Baru?” Nishikido said with a shocked voice.   
  
“Next time say hello before pouring your heart out.” Shibutani said nonchalantly. “And don’t worry; I’m not having an affair with him. Just making sure that he sleeps. The boys are here as well.” He said suddenly.  
  
“Why are you telling me this? Of course you’re not having an affair with him.” Nishikido spat back out. “I would never think of it that way. Never.”   
  
“Tell Ryo-chan to sleep. Or else I’ll have to go to his room next and put him down.” Nishikido heard Yokoyama spoke.   
  
Nishikido let out a laugh. “Tell Yokocho I’m going to sleep right after this and don’t worry about me, I’m a big boy now.” He said.  
  
“We know that you are a big boy, but you are the big boy that is going to drive us back to Osaka. We don’t want to get into an accident.” Shibutani said as they ended their call. 

* * *

Yasuda was the first one to rise as usual that morning. Looking at the little creature beside him breathing steadily as she cuddled close to him. The look on Yamashita’s face yesterday bothers him. How could he not know his own blood? How could he be so oblivious of reality? Yet the way Catherine was looking at him was different. She was not happy or afraid like she usually is with strangers, she was just content. Maybe the unseen bond of family goes deeper than what is seen.  
  
He knows deep in his heart he could never replace her brother, but it was enough for him to just be there with her. Her will has brought him to that day. He was a changed man since he saw her. Now knowing that her brother is someone he does know, makes it even more difficult for him. How was he supposed to tell her? What was he suppose to tell.   
  
The first thing he did was to check his phone. ‘Last received call – Ryo-chan’. He did not remember talking to Nishikido at all last night. He sighed. One of the other boys must have taken his phone while he was sleeping. It had to be. He glanced around the room and looked at each and everyone’s peaceful face. It’s not a common scene to see most of them like this. He smiled to himself.

* * *

 

Tegoshi stared out the window as Yamashita drove him back to his house. His eyes were distant and it seemed like his heart was not connected with his body. Yamashita reached for his hand. His touch brought Tegoshi back to reality. “What’s with you today?” Yamashita asked. Tegoshi just shook his head as a reply. “If this is about yesterday. I’m sorry.” He said softly.  
  
“This has nothing to do with yesterday.” Tegoshi answered. A moment of silent filled the car again. “Do you think I’m a pedophile for liking a little girl?” Tegoshi posed the question suddenly. Yamashita’s facial expression changes completely. “Pi, I think I like Sakura-chan.” That sentence halted every other thought in Yamashita’s mind. The entire drive was then filled with utter silence.

* * *

Yamashita sat in his room in his family house that afternoon after sending Tegoshi back to his house as he flipped the old pictures that he had of his father. He sat quietly just reminiscing the good memory they had. 

  
“Tomo-chan, tadaima.” His mother’s voice floated from the front door.   
  
“Okaeri, kachan.” He replied. “You went to the hospital already?” He questioned his mother as he approached her.  
  
The older woman just shook her head. “I’m not going for a while.” She answered. “Catherine checked out.”   
  
Yamashita just nodded. “If you’re going to see her at her school, please tell me. I want to see her too.” Yamashita said suddenly.   
  
“She went to Osaka with a friend. She won’t be back for a while I guess.” His mother replied. “Why the sudden change of heart?” She questioned.  
  
Yamashita dropped his head down. At the moment he wanted to see her, she was gone. He had so many opportunities before but never once he grabbed it. “No reason, I just thought I ought to see her sooner or later.”


	8. Chapter 7

Having a day off was rare for them these days. With shooting and practice, and himself with school, having a day off was a luxury really. Yet he had no idea of what was he supposed to do on a beautiful day as that. He looked at his phone from a distant. Fighting the urge to call Yamashita just hours after they were apart.  
  
Yet the yearning for him to hear his voice was too much. He gave up. Tegoshi reached for his phone and punched in Yamashita’s number. His thumb was too slow to press call when Yamashita called him first. “Are you busy?” The first word came out of Yamashita’s mouth.  
  
Tegoshi hesitated a little, at the risk of sounding desperate for a companion. “Hn, ar, no.” He spoke finally. “Why?”  
  
“I know you must be tired and all, but what do you think of Osaka?” Yamashita asked suddenly. “I know this is sudden plus, there might be a chance for you to meet the little girl that saved you if we are lucky enough to meet with Ryo.” He tempted the younger boy.  
  
Tegoshi just laughed. He meant it as a joke really. He did not think Yamashita would take it so seriously. “Why didn’t you board with Ryo earlier?” Tegoshi pushed his luck, trying to test Yamashita’s patience. “Shige might be interested to go back to Osaka too.”  
  
Yamashita sighed. “I don’t like the shinkansen. There are too many people.” He reasoned. “Plus, I want to go with you.” He said in a dejected voice. “Please?” He pleaded.  
  
Inside, Tegoshi was jumping with joy hearing that from Yamashita. Though his ego was too much in control of his body, he just sighed. As if, he had to accept the invitation. “Fine. With one condition.” He said as response.  
  
“Anything.” Yamashita spoke instantly.  
  
“No more mention of the girl. It was supposed to be a joke for goodness sake.” Tegoshi said. “Why the sudden urge to go to Osaka though?” he questioned.  
  
Yamashita just let out a small laugh in response. “I’ll tell you the reason when I meet you.” He said mysteriously. “See you soon, my little tease.” Yamashita said before hanging up.  
  
“Oi…” Tegoshi cried in vain as Yamashita’s voice was replaced by the dial tone. A big smile plastered on his face as he moved gracefully to pack his belonging to bring for his trip with Yamashita. “If only you know Pi.” Tegoshi muttered to himself.  
  
Yamashita’s smell was still fresh in his mind. He was not sure why did he do what he does. One thing for sure though the touch of his skin was electric. What he did not know was Yamashita felt the same electricity that flowed through his body. Yamashita too could not forget the sensation that overcame them at that moment.  
  
“Yuya you don’t know how you have infected me with your touch and those words of yours.” Yamashita said quietly to himself. Quickly he readied himself and picked Tegoshi up. Yamashita felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach, not because of the anticipation of meeting his sister but more of being with Tegoshi for the drive to Osaka.

* * *

Catherine and Yasuda seemed to be inseparable in the Shinkansen. Besides Nishikido, Catherine barely spoke to the other two. Shibutani glanced back only to see Catherine leaning on Yasuda as he was reading his book and they shared the music player with one earphone each. Beside the two was Nishikido scribbling his way into his little notebook. Okura who say beside him was resting with his eyes closed. Shibutani sighed. It sure was quiet without Murakami, Maruyama and Yokoyama.

  
A sudden smile flashed on his face as he saw Catherine head bobbed as though she was falling asleep. Quietly he tapped Yasuda’s arm. Yasuda just shook his head. Shibutani pleaded with his puppy eyes and fluttering them at Yasuda. Finally, the younger boy gave in.  
  
Nishikido just smiled at them. Knowing Shibutani. And his methods of pranks. Yasuda stood up gently not to wake the young girl and swapped places with Shibutani. Shibutani and Yasuda were quite similar in size; it was easy for Catherine to fall for the prank.  
  
Catherine leaned back on who she thought was Yasuda. “Sho-chan, how much longer till we arrive there?” She said softly.  
  
“About another hour or so.” Shibutani replied. Sure enough to make the young girl shot up from her seat as she practically dived at Nishikido. The four of the burst with laughter as Catherine panted for breath. Her heart beat quickly as her pink blushed face turned pale white.  
  
“Kuso!” Yasuda said suddenly. “Daijoubu ka, Saku-chan?” he questioned worriedly. Catherine just nodded quietly. “Ah... gomen ne. I forgot about your heart.” The young girl looked up at him and smiled.   
  
“You wouldn’t have done it if you remembered.” Catherine said softly. With Nishikido rubbing her back gently, her breathing gradually slowed down and her heart came back to its normal pace. “Baru-kun wa, gomen ne. I was just surprised.” Catherine apologized.  
  
It was at that time she knew she was accepted not only as a friend of Yasuda and Nishikido but they accept her as she is. And as someone dear to them. She glanced at the guy with the angelic face who was smiling softly at her. It was not a crush, she realized. He was her protector as well.

* * *

The night was late and Ueda sat in his lone apartment staring at the clear night sky. The moon was smiling and the stars were dancing happily matched his feeling inside. The sudden incoming text message brought a smile to his face. 

  
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I’m back in Osaka right now. We should meet up again sometimes when I am back in Tokyo. Tatsuya. Thank you. For everything. –Ryo-‘. The message read. Ueda smiled to himself, thinking if Nishikido is staring at the same sky, he was looking at right now.   
  
‘It’s nothing really… Glad I could help. That is what friends are for right. –Tat-chan-.’ Ueda replied. Friends. Is that what they are, or is there a relationship beyond words, that they are having? It does not matter to him. As long as he could be by his side, it does not matter what kind of relationship it was.


	9. Chapter 8

She could not remember having this much fun ever. Even though winter was dawning on them the fresh breeze of autumn was very pleasant. They had exactly four days in Osaka before they had to go back to Tokyo. Back to his hectic life. At least, she is with him until then. She was allowed to be with him as long as she wanted and as long as he could cope.  
  
Yasuda smiled to himself as the smile that he thought were gone forever from her memories had came back. He never expected Okura would be so good with kids. He was still a kid himself, that boy Okura, Yasuda thought quietly. “She’s smiling again.” Nishikido said as he took a seat beside Yasuda on the park bench.  
  
“Arigatou na, Ryo.” Yasuda said suddenly. Nishikido just looked at him with questioning eyes. “For going with the silly plans that I made. For pretending to enjoy your time with her when I could not go visit her.”   
  
Nishikido sighed with a smile. “I don’t have to pretend. I have a younger sister of my own, you know. I know how it feel like to love someone so much but not as a lover.” He said. “I would not let anyone hurt her. Much less put a scratch on her. Saku-chan is already like my sister now. Thanks to you. I have two sisters now.”   
  
“Baru. Oi. Baru.” Yasuda suddenly heard the younger boy called. “Stop picking on her already, Ossan.” He said loudly as he shielded the young girl from the older man. Shibutani just mocked him instead. “Baru come on. Give her the ball back.” Okura said as he charged towards the older man. Catherine just laughed as she watched the two grown men running through the park for the one ball.  
  
Catherine made her way to where Yasuda and Nishikido was and she squeezed herself in between them. Yasuda moved a little making room for the little girl. “Daijoubu?” He asked softly. Catherine just nodded. “Are you tired?” He questioned again.  
  
Catherine shook her head. “I can’t run. And Baru-niichan took the ball.” She replied innocently. Nishikido eyed her suspiciously. “What, did I say something wrong?” she questioned innocently looking at Yasuda.  
  
Nishikido and Yasuda just smiled. “Baru-niichan?” Nishikido asked finding the name a little amusing. Catherine just smiled. Baru-niichan. Tacchon. Shin-niichan. Ryu-niichan. Kimi-niichan. In her life, she might have lost the affection of one brother, but she also had gained seven more. “Oi, Baru.” Nishikido called the older guy who was still running away from Okura. “Baru-niichan.” He called once again in a singsong voice and both the running boys halted. Immediately Okura burst out laughing.   
  
“Oi, oi, oi. Nande yo.” Shibutani said a little bit embarrassed by the nickname only Catherine is allowed to call him. A name that he thought might just make her closer to him as she was to Yasuda and Nishikido.   
  
“You guys never quiet down do you.” A familiar voice said to them as he approach them. Another boy were trailing not far behind, was giggling.   
  
Nishikido’s bright smile gradually fades. He was worries about how Yasuda might react towards Yamashita. Catherine was still at a fragile state. She could not bear any more surprises and she definitely could not cope with any more shocks for the time being.   
  
“Woah, what brings the two most famous Kanto people to the Kansai region.” Yasuda teased. His eyes spoke well. He had no intention to tell Yamashita, nor does he hold any grudges against him. Yasuda is a good actor that way. He never shows what he really felt inside, even though it hurts.   
  
Yamashita just smiled. He did not want anyone else beside Tegoshi to know about his little sister. About how irresponsible of a human being he had been. He did not want to be the one in the hot seat. Little that he know that he was already with her.   
  
A part of Nishikido wanted to just scream at the both sibling. Yet apart of him want to just keep it quiet. Keep her all to himself and not let her meet her real brother. He was afraid the bond they had build over the years might just disappear into thin air as she meets her real brother.   
  
Though there were something familiar about Yamashita, something that does not make her feel so threatened as she was with other strangers, unconsciously, she would still clung to Yasuda or Nishikido. Despite the fact that she was smiling to Yamashita, her hand was firmly claps on Yasuda’s. “Daijoubu?” Yasuda asked as he felt her hand tighten around his. Catherine just nodded. She needn’t to explain herself to him.  
  
Without knowing, the two siblings have interacted and touched one another. Not once it sunk that they were related. The more at ease they were with each other, the more Nishikido became uncertain of his choice. Maybe Yamashita would not react as bad as he thought he would.   
  
“Why exactly are you here?” Nishikido asked Yamashita as they were walking back to their respective cars. The others were walking far in front with Catherine being carried on Okura’s back. “It’s not about your sister is it?” He asked bluntly.  
  
Yamashita’s face turned pale. “H-h-how did you know?” He stammered.   
  
Nishikido smirked. His boiling blood wanted to burst from his body. He wanted to just hit the cocky looking man beside him that he had been calling a friend. “It does not matter how I knew. Is it? Are you looking for her?” All Yamashita had to say was yes.   
  
Instead he shook his head. “We may share the same father but she is not my sister. I don’t have any sister.” Yamashita said spitefully. He quicken his pace to catch up with the other boys but Nishikido stopped him.   
  
Nishikido felt his blood boiled from the inside. “Omae. Maybe knowing is better than keeping this hate forever. Sometimes the past does not hold the truth.” He said as his grip tighten on Yamashita’s arm. Yasuda quicken his pace to leave the group. Nishikido knew he had heard Yamashita, he knew that Yamashita’s voice had reached the people in front of them.   
  
“She has your blood, Pi. She has your genes in her. Just remember that. She’ll carry that with her to the grave.” Nishikido said quietly before leaving the younger boy behind.   
  
Catherine laid her head on Okura’s back as she whispered. “I’m very lucky to have minna as my brothers.” She said softly.


	10. Chapter 9

That night Shibutani decided to stay over at the Yasuda’s family house. His heart was heavy to leave the younger man alone that night. The whole way home, Yasuda had been extremely quiet only speaking when Catherine was saying something to him. Somehow after the words spoken by Yamashita, Yasuda had been absent minded.  
  
He sat at the corner of the room as he observed the younger man tug the little girl to sleep. “Promise me tomorrow, na.” Yasuda whispered softly in the little girl’s ear then he kissed her forehead before saying good night. Catherine just nodded. “Yakusoku, ne.” He smiled. He placed a baby monitor that had been laying around since his niece grew up to be a toddler by the bedside and took the receiver with him.  
  
“Nii-chan.” Catherine called suddenly as he was about to close the door. Yasuda just peeked back in again. “Oyasumi.” She smiled playfully. Yasuda just smiled as he dimmed the lights and shut the door. “I talk in my sleep you know. You’ll never be able to sleep by then.” Catherine teased realizing the baby monitor by her bedside.  
  
Shibutani let out a little laugh. “Doshite? You’ve been quiet. What’s bothering you?” Shibutani asked the younger man gently. Yasuda being himself just keeps everything to himself. “We are all worried too you know. It’s not just you. Yes. You are the closest to her but we all care.” He said prying something out of Yasuda.  
  
Yasuda just shook his head sighing. “Nande mo nai.” He answered as he opened the front door to sit out on the patio. Shibutani had known Yasuda for keeping things to himself, but he had not seen him this caught up in his problems in years.  
  
“Are you fine really?” Shibutani asked again. Yasuda just nodded as a reply. “Shota, you can’t keep doing this to yourself you know.” Without realizing Yasuda’s tears starts to run down his cheeks. “Ah... Shotan. I know it hurts. There’s not much you can do if you are like this. You have to be strong for her.” Subaru said softly as he embraced the smaller man beside him.  
  
The whole night the two young men stayed in each other’s embrace until Yasuda fell asleep in his tears. Although Shibutani did not make half of what he said during his sobbing speaking part, but at least he was there to calm his friend down. He was there for him. Finally he was there for him.

* * *

It was late and all they could get was a double bed room for the night. “I’ll take the sofa.” Tegoshi said avoiding any kind of verbal contact with Yamashita.

  
“Omae.” Yamashita said as he sat himself on the bed. “The bed is big enough for the both of us. Why not just share it?” He questioned. Tegoshi just kept to himself not responding to Yamashita. “Oi, omae. Nan desu ka. What did I do?” He questioned. “Why are you giving me the cold shoulders?”  
  
Tegoshi just shook his head. “I’m fine over here.” He said with a sigh.  
  
“Yuya. Please tell me what I did wrong? You’ve been quiet the whole time we drove home.” Yamashita sighed as he walked over to the sofa. Tegoshi just look at him in reply. “I don’t know where or when did I do anything wrong to you.”  
  
“You told me that you were coming to search for your sister. When Ryo asked you, the reason is turned three sixty degrees. What are you thinking. Who do you think I am?” Tegoshi said slightly aggravated. Yamashita just opened his mouth to speak when Tegoshi cut him.  
  
Yamashita sighed as he smiled and stretched his arm to coil around Tegoshi, but Tegoshi was quick to move away. “It’s not just about that is it?” Yamashita reacted.  
  
“You don’t understand how does it to be alone do you? You don’t get it do you. What does it feel to be left by your family and to live alone. To be in a place full of strangers. How can you be so heartless?” Tegoshi questioned. “I want to go home.” He declared.  
  
Yamashita stood up and walked towards the younger boy. He spun the boy around to face him harshly. “My father left me when I was ten. Don’t speak with me about being heartless.” He said roughly. “Do as you wish. I’m not discussing this with you. What does a rich brat like you know about being left by your family?” he said before slamming the hotel door leaving Tegoshi alone in the room.  
  
Tegoshi sank to his knees. “You don’t know the first thing about me Pi. You never cared. You never cared about anyone else but yourself.” Tegoshi said as his eyes burned with the warm tears that threatened to fall. Quickly he punched a number that he had programmed on his phone. “Can you pick me up please?” He asked politely.  
  
“Where are you? Where’s Yamashita?” The man with the sleepy voice asked. “Yuya, what happened?” He asked.  
  
“Ryo. Please just get me.” Tegoshi said nearly crying.  
  
“Just wait there. I’ll be right there.” He said quickly.

* * *

Yamashita walked as far as his leg would take him. He wondered why such words could came out of his mouth. He wondered why was he so cold towards his sister. He just cannot bear the thought of they might have the same memories as his half sister.

  
“Kuso. Kuso. Kuso.” Yamashita cursed to himself. He had hurt another person he loved again. “Yuya. I’m sorry. Damn it.” He trembled as he leaned on the stonewall.  
  
“Yamashita-kun ka?” A familiar voice called to him. Quickly Yamashita wiped his tears away before he faced the guy. “What are you doing in Osaka? There is no concert or anything right?” he questioned.  
  
Yamashita shook his head. “Just here for the break.” He answered. “Uchi, it’s been a while isn’t it.” he spoke.  
  
Uchi just smiled as a response. “So you came with Ryo and the guys or what?” he asked casually as he pulled Yamashita into motion. Together they head for the nearest Starbucks.  
  
“I came with Yuya. He’s at the hotel though. I just needed some air.” Yamashita replied. “You’re quite close with Yasuda right?” Yamashita asked suddenly.  
  
“Not as close as Shibuyan to him though. But we’re quite close. Why?” Uchi asked suspiciously.  
  
Yamashita just shook his head. “I was wondering who exactly Sakura-chan is to him.” he replied. Uchi just smiled. Remembering the times Yasuda would bail on their drinking night to be with the young girl. And how he had changes since he met the girl.  
  
“Saku-chan ka? Well to make it simple, she’s like a little sister he never had. Originally she’s from America somewhere. He told us once but I can’t remember exactly where. Why? Did you meet her? A sweet wise kid for her age.” Uchi replied. “I missed that kid.”  
  
Yamashita smiled slyly. “She’s at Yasuda’s now.”  
  
“Eh... honma ni?” Uchi uttered his disbelief. “Yamashita-kun, how did you know about Saku-chan?”  
  
“Met her at the hospital the other day. Just wondering though. At the pediatric coronary ward, was there a girl named Catherine when you guys were there?” Yamashita spoke. He wondered why was he asking Uchi instead of the other boys.  
  
Uchi looked at him questioningly. “I’m not too sure. Try asking Shota or Ryo, they might know.” he spoke carefully.


	11. Chapter 10

Yasuda woke up as he felt something moved in his arm. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the patio, crying his heart out to Shibutani. His cheeks gradually warms a little as he blushed. Slowly he opened his eyes adjusting to the brightness. The little being in his arms was sleeping so soundly, coiling cozily against him. The gentle steady breath of the man on his other side blew it’s warmth against his neck and his hand coiled around his waist.  
  
“Are you awake?” Shibutani whispered to his ears. His warm breath tickles yet Yasuda likes it. He was quick to close back his eyes before Shibutani could caught him awake. Shibutani sighed softly. “I just wish you could tell me everything. You’d let me share the pain you are bearing.” He said quietly, tightening his embrace.  
  
“I will tell you when the time comes.” Yasuda replied quietly.  
  
Shibutani quickly scrambled up feeling a little embarrassed letting his feeling out like that. “I thought you were still asleep.” He said in a hush hush voice. Yasuda’s body trembled with laughter yet he made no sound.  
  
“Atashi mo. I want to know too.” Catherine said groggily as she looked up smiling at Yasuda. Gently the man peck her forehead lovingly. “Nii-chan, please don’t be sad anymore okay.” she said embracing the man tightly, until Yasuda could feel her heart beating against his. “My heart will never stop beating as long as you would not let it.” she whispered only for Yasuda’s ears to hear.  
  
Shibutani smiled at the two of them softly. “Alright daddy. Have your own kid already.” He teased as a pillow flew in his direction. Catherine just giggled.  
  
“Urusai na, ossan. I can’t get married before you though. You’re older, no?” Yasuda replied a little annoyed by the comment. It was not that he did not want to settle down, he just could not find the time to have a proper relationship. Catherine just smiled at them slyly. She was always the one with the weird ideas and spurting out at the utmost improper time. At times she was almost like a mix of Yasuda, Okura and Nishikido at the same time. “You look like you have something to say.” Yasuda said to the girl who was now sitting beside him.  
  
Catherine just shook her head. “Nande mo nai.” she replied with the same sly tone and smile. Yasuda pouts a little pulling her towards him. “Nii-chan.” she groaned. His fingers gently working his way to her waist tickling her yet careful not to hit her operationed areas. “Baru. Baru-niichan. Onegai.”She spoke through her giggles that were turning into laughter. But she knew until she say what was on her mind there was no way she was going to get out of the situation.  
  
Instead of stopping Yasuda, Shibutani joined in tickling the little girl. The little girl’s pale skin blushed pink with laughter. After a while, she finally gave up. “What was it that you were thinking?” Yasuda said questioning her.  
  
Still smiling from the tickles and the thought Catherine wanted laugh buy she held herself back. “Nii-chan and Baru-niichan are already like my mommy and daddy. You two should just marry each other.” She splurted out. Hearing that Yasuda buried his face in the pillow.  
  
It was that obvious that he was getting to close with Shibutani that even a ten year old can see. Shibutani just laughed. He had heard that from the members before. At least they did not say he was the girl.  
  
Their laughter was interrupted with a knock on the door as Yasuda’s elder sister peeked in. “Urusai yo minna. Shota. Your niece is still sleeping upstairs. And stop torturing the little girl so much.” she scolded.  
  
Although only being two years older than Yasuda, he never defy her not even once. Unless he knew that what she said was really bad or wrong. After the death of his mother, when he was much younger, his sister had been the one taking care of him along with his grandmother. For the first few years his father was like a living corpse. Then he turned into a workaholic and not once cared about them anymore. Gradually the workaholic became an alcoholic and slowly withered away.

* * *

Nishikido just gazed upon the younger boy who was still sleeping peacefully. The last time he saw them, they were like the perfect couple. He was not sure what went wrong. He was also sure not to ask him anyways. Although for Tegoshi to call him and cry as he did the day before was really a rare one for him. He must have been really hurt by either Yamashita’s word or his action. Being the leader, sometimes Yamashita tend to be a little bit bossy but he is a good leader.

  
“Gomen ne Ryo.” Tegoshi said waking up. “I’m always a problem to you and Pi. ” he spoke softly.  
  
Nishikido just shook his head. “It’s fine.” He replied. He is known to be a man of very few words when he is with NewS and a man of many ideas when he was with his kansai boys.  
  
Tegoshi just smiled. He knew Nishikido is not the kind to asked about what happened and weather you would want to talk it over with him. He was more of the kind that let everyone else walk at their own pace. Giving them room to breathe. “Do you think of me as a spoilt rich brat, Ryo?” Tegoshi questioned.  
  
Nishikido did not feel as if he needed to answer the question. He just shrugged in reply. Tegoshi just nodded.  
  
“Within the Eito members you all know about each other’s past like you know your own past don’t you?” Tegoshi questioned. Nishikido put the book he was pretending to read down and sat nearer to Tegoshi.  
  
“We practically grew up together. We were each other past. You can’t compare them to us, Yuya. I made it clear about it before didn’t I?” Nishikido replied. He knew he shared more about his personal life with the kansai boys more than his NewS members.  
  
Tegoshi nodded. “I know.” he said quietly. “But you at least knew I was adopted right?” He questioned.  
  
Nishikido sighed. “Look, adopted or not, you still have parents who love you, Yuya. I know you miss your brother. But look at yourself now. Look at what you have achieved. If, hypothetically if the accident did not happen, would you have choose this path of life?” Nishikido questioned. “We both know Pi speaks with his emotion and not his head most of the time. He might just have forgotten about that little detail.”

* * *

Yamashita was so angry with himself for being so cruel to Tegoshi before. Since he disappeared, Tegoshi would not received any calls or texts from him. He wondered how could he forget the most important information about the most special person to him. It was Uchi who reminded him about Tegoshi’s painful past.

  
“Everyone has their own secret and painful experiences Pi. Sometimes you need to calm down a little. Or else just look at me. Look at where I am now. Not that I’m complaining. But I really missed being with you guys. It’s different not being able to share your joy with other members you know.” Uchi said to him the night before.  
  
“It’s like I lost a part of my family. For two years it felt like I’m an unwanted orphan.” the words played in Yamashita’s head over and over like a broken record.


	12. Chapter 11

He planned everything by himself. Not one person not even Yasuda knew about it. From the place to the food everything was thought of himself. He knew Catherine being herself, she would not recklessly just eat anything. At her age, she was much more mature than any other girls of her peer were.  
  
“Ryo.” She pouts a little as Nishikido arrived a little late to pick the three of them up. “You’re late.” She said brattishly. Nishikido just smiled as he hoisted her up.  
  
“Ah. Gomen.” Nishikido said as he knelt down to her height. “Happy birthday na Saku-chan. We’re going to meet someone special today ne.” he said gently as he gently tucked her hair behind her ears.  
  
Yasuda stared at Nishikido. He knew what was going on. He knew right then what was Nishikido’s intention. Nishikido just smiled softly. Yasuda shook his head silently. His usually calm face redden with anger. Shibutani was quick to pull the shorter guy away before he erupts.  
  
It was then the two other guys arrived to join them. “Nii-chan?” Catherine turned to look for him. “Daijoubu?” she asked softly as she touched Yasuda’s arm.  
  
“ē, daijoubu. Omedeto na.” Yasuda said looking away from the little girl.  
  
Catherine gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Tegoshi-kun and Uchi-kun is here. Ryo is bringing us to meet someone. Daijoubu ka?” She asked. “I won’t go if you are not okay with it.”  
  
Yasuda gradually calmed down as he descend to her height. “It’s fine. Uchi is here no? Why don’t you go to him while I change for a while, okay.” he said gently. “Call Ryo for me please.” he said.  
  
Hesitantly Catherine walked back to the living area. “Nii-chan angry with you. Don’t fight again please.” Catherine said looking up to Nishikido. Nishikido sighed as he nodded. He knew he should have told Yasuda about it first. But if he did, there was no way Yasuda would let not happen anyways.  
  
Catherine sat in between Uchi and Tegoshi as Nishikido went to Yasuda’s room. “Are you in it too?” Catherine asked the boys. Tegoshi shook his head quickly but Uchi just smiled. He did not know about the plan and whom they were going to meet but he knew, Nishikido must have something very special planned for her. It was her tenth birthday after all. “I missed you.” She said suddenly as she snuggled close to Uchi, taking in his scent. After a few moments she scrunched up and look up at his face. “You smoked again.” She complained.  
  
Uchi let out a laughter. “Baru and Shota smoke too. Ryo stinks of smoke all the time.” He protested. Catherine just giggled playfully. Shibutani’s loud voice halted their conversation as Uchi sat her a side and made Tegoshi look after her. “Don’t let her come.” He said quickly before disappearing into Yasuda’s room as well.  
  
Catherine looked at Tegoshi. He seemed to be shocked as well. “It’s his sister. He should at least know about it. It does not matter if he does not want to acknowledge it. At least he know. At least she knows.” Nishikido voice said loudly before a loud bang came after. It was after that everything went silent. Their voice became whispers and Uchi was the first to come out followed by Nishikido and then Shibutani and Yasuda.   
  
Yasuda expression was still flustered yet he tried his best not to show it in front of Catherine. Shibutani was on the phone and within minutes Okura was already at the doorstep. Instinctively Catherine went to Yasuda to sit on his lap. Shibutani and Nishikido sat on either side of Yasuda.   
  
Catherine looks up at his face questioning him with her eyes. Yasuda forced a smile as he shook his head, indicating everything was fine. “Hontou ni?” She said quietly. Her eyes drifted to each of them demanding an explanation of what had happened but none of them said a word.   
  
“Honma ni, sumimasen deshita.” Nishikido said suddenly. Okura who just got there and Tegoshi looked at each other and then back to Nishikido. Yasuda coiled his arms around Catherine and she leaned her head on his chest while her eyes darted to Nishikido. “Saku-chan, gomen ne.” He said softly. Catherine just look at him questioningly.   
  
“You never did anything wrong to me.” Catherine said innocently.  
  
Nishikido hesitated to speak. But he had promised to tell her fist before letting her meet her half brother. “I’ve been keeping this secret for a long time.” He paused. Buying time for himself to get himself together before announcing it to her and everyone else.   
  
Catherine placed her hands on her ears. “I don’t want to know if it’s going to hurt minna.” She said definitively. “Especially if it hurts, nii-chan.” She said looking up at Yasuda. Gently Yasuda removes her hand while fighting back his own tears. “I don’t want you to be sad.” She reasoned quietly.  
  
“Daijoubu na.” Yasuda spoke.  
  
“I’ve known your brother half my life.” Nishikido spoke. “I’ve known who he was since the beginning.” He continued. Tegoshi’s eyes widen. Yasuda just looked away. Catherine’s hand quickly reached for Yasuda’s. “I didn’t want anyone to know because your adopted mother asked me to keep it a secret. She wanted your brother to meet you at his own terms.” He continued.   
  
“Just tell her, Ryo.” Yasuda spoke suddenly clearing his throat.  
  
Just as if it was fated for Yamashita to know Catherine, he appeared at the doorstep at the very moment Nishikido was going to tell her. “Catherine Sakura Akira. Meet your brother, Yamashita Tomohisa.” Nishikido announced.   
  
Tegoshi gasped. “My god.”   
  
Yamashita who was about to enter the house stood still. He just stared at Catherine. The words he had said the day before floated in everyone’s mind, except Uchi who was not there. He too was surprised with the announcement.   
  
Catherine’s eyes started to water but quickly she changed her vision to Okura. “But I have minna now.” She said suddenly as she quickly snuggled up to Yasuda. “Ne, nii-chan.” She looks up at Yasuda with her voice muffled a little. “You’ll be my brother, right?” She questioned. Yasuda’s body trembled as he protectively embraced the little girl on his lap.   
  
“We all are, and always will be.” Okura said as he quietly. “We will always be your brother.”


	13. Chapter 12

He had to admit what she said was painful to hear. Nevertheless, after the words he had said to Nishikido the evening before he knew he deserved it. He looked down to his feet as he starts to turn and walk away, but Tegoshi was quick to grab his arm. “You came here to search for her, remember?” He said softly. “Pi, forget your ego just for one second.” Tegoshi spoke.  
  
“Ryo.” Catherine said suddenly. Nishikido looked at her questioningly with the change of tone in her voice. “My name was never Catherine Sakura Akira.” She smirked. “I have no relation at all with Akira-san besides having his blood in me.” She said quietly.  
  
Gradually Yamashita picked up his head to look at the young girl’s face. Catherine just does not try to avoid his eyes anymore. She wanted him to know he was not the only person their father had cheated and left.  
  
“My name is Catherine Sakura Faris. I was never born with the name Akira.” She said strongly, yet her hand was gripping tight on Yasuda’s hand. “I guess, Yamashita-kun was right to say that besides having the same gene we have no relation at all.” She continued.  
  
“Stop this.” Yasuda spoke gently. “Today is supposed to be a happy day for you. Not a day to remember those memories that you don’t even have.” He paused as he looks at Nishikido. “Ryo, I told you. I told you so many times to leave it alone. I know it is heavy for you to bear it alone, I understand that you want them to meet. They’ve met haven’t they? Pi came here for her birthday. He didn’t need to know she’s his sister. He came for Sakura.”  
  
Catherine just smiled at Yasuda. “Catherine died three years ago when Sakura was born ne.” Catherine said to Yasuda. “Nii-chan, Ryo, Babu, Hiro, just don’t fight anymore.” She said as she slide down from Yasuda’s lap and walk to where Yamashita was. “Ryo-chan, arigatou. Yamashita-kun, hontou ni sumimasen. But, I need this day to be a happy day for me. Just today. Onegaishimasu.” She said bowing her head to the man in front of her.

* * *

Not once Yasuda let her out of his vision. Yamashita stayed quiet the whole time, not showing much reaction. Catherine just made it seem like the reveal had never happen, only she was not as comfortable with Yamashita as she was before. Nishikido felt awful being the bad guy that day but his guts told him that was the right thing to do.  
  
“It’s failing isn’t it.” Catherine said quietly shocking Nishikido out of his trance. Nishikido just looked at her questioningly. “My heart is failing isn’t it. That’s why you needed to tell Yamashita-kun I’m his sister. Right?” she questioned.  
  
Nishikido looked at the little girl with sympathetic eyes. “It’s not that.” he spoke softly trying to steer her in a different direction. Though his brains could not think of an answer quickly enough to come up with a good reason.  
  
“Do you know that obasan is just filling in for Yamashita-kun. Until I am eighteen, my half brother is to have the right to my medical decision if he is above twenty-one. If not a lawyer should be appointed. That was the real reason I came to Japan.” Catherine said softly. “Don’t tell nii-chan ne. He is worried as it is. It’ll take a miracle to happen to make me better.”  
  
Nishikido just nodded as he hoisted the little girl onto his lap. “You told me before that you wanted to see him only once. Just once. What was that all about?” he asked her. Catherine just smiled.  
  
“Hn.” she sighed as she leaned on his chest. “I’ll tell you about it when we are alone.” she spoke as she wrapped her arms around his, hugging it like a bolster pillow. “Ryo, you’re getting skinnier.” she said suddenly grinning childishly as she looked up at Nishikido.  
  
“So are you, little brat.” Nishikido replied rolling his eyes at her. “Gomen ne telling about your brother the way that I did.” Nishikido said softly.  
  
“I’m glad you did tell it like that. At least I have you and nii-chan. If anything were to happen, at least you guys are with me. I’m sure you think of it that way as well, right.” Catherine replied. “I told sensei not to tell anything to nii-chan just yet. If you know anything, please don’t tell him.” Catherine said. Nishikido was not sure how to react to that. Yasuda has always been the first person Catherine tells everything to. He had been the one that knows the most about her. Yet, for some reason, she was hiding from him. Making excuses and pulling herself away from him.   
  
“Naze?” Nishikido asked.  
  
Catherine let her eyes gaze at the group of men who were laughing and talking about just everything. “I want to see him laugh like he used to. Like before, he took me under his care. I want to see the care less him and not the one with his guard always up at all time. Being too scared all the time.” She answered.   
  
Nishikido just smiled. “Well.” He said pausing, causing Catherine to turn her head and look up at him. “He wants you to be happy and smile like you used to. The little girl with no worries and just keeps fighting for her time.” He replied. Catherine stuck her tongue out at Nishikido. Nishikido made a face at her and they both erupted in laughter.

* * *

The day was finally over and with some help from Nishikido and Uchi, he had convinced Tegoshi to go back with him. “I’m sorry for leaving you and not answering your calls.” Tegoshi started as they got in the car. Yamashita just smiled.

  
“Yuya, she can’t be my sister. She just can’t. My sister is dying. Saku-chan is too young to die.” Yamashita broke down. His body trembled as tears streamed down his face. “She can’t be.” he said over and over again. Tegoshi could not think of anything to say. Instead, he just gave his shoulders for Yamashita to cry on.  
  
“She might be dying, she’s not dead yet Pi. That’s the most important. There’s still time.” Tegoshi spoke softly. “She might be your half sister. She is also Sakura. She just a little girl. She had done nothing wrong to you.”  
  
There is a part of him that just wants to be close to Catherine. There is still a part of him the still could not accept the little girl just because of his father. He does realize that she had done nothing to him, but his heart just could not open up to her.  
  
“Just try talking to her. She not like any other kid, Pi. She’s far more mature than her age.” Tegoshi spoke softly.  
  
Yamashita looked in Tegoshi’s eyes deeply. “She heard what I said. She knows what I feel about her as my sister. What will she think about me.” he finally spoke.  
  
“We’ll never know what she thinks Pi. You’ll never know what’s in her heart until you open yours to her. I’m not in any position to tell you to do anything, but Pi, she’s no ordinary little girl.” Tegoshi replied gently.

* * *

Catherine laid her head on Yasuda’s chest as his arm wrapped around her shoulders as they stared aimlessly at the television set. “Nii-chan.” Catherine spoke softly as she looks up at Yasuda. Yasuda just hummed a soft ‘hn...’ as he look upon her face. “Arigatou na for today.” She spoke smiling at him.

  
“It was all Ryo, Saku-chan. I don’t even know about it.” Yasuda replied. “About Yamapi.” he started. Catherine just smiled at him. “Are you really okay about it?” he questioned.  
  
Catherine just giggled. “Actually, there was something different about him the first time I met him.” She said snuggling close to Yasuda. “When Ryo told me, I was almost hoping it was him. At least I know. At least I can be in peace when the time comes one day. Mom and dad trusted me with their will, and it had to be delivered to him.” She said sleepily as she closed her eyes as she speaks.   
  
Yasuda sighed as he caressed her hair gently. “As much as I’m glad you met him, I’m afraid of losing you to your brother.” Yasuda whispered softly. Catherine just kept quiet and snuggled closer to him as she slowly fell asleep. “I’m afraid I can never let you go, hime-chan.”


	14. Chapter 13

In the years he had known Yamashita, he had never seen the young man cried as hard as he did the night before. Yamashita literally cried until the moment he fell asleep in Tegoshi’s arm. Tegoshi slid down a little as he rested his head on the crown of Yamashita’s head and resting his tired eyes but still keeping alert to the slightest move that Yamashita made. It took him a while before finally falling into the dreamland with Yamashita.  
  
Tegoshi felt the weight that had been rested against his chest was gone; sleepily he opened his eyes looking for signs of Yamashita. “I’m sorry for being such a baby yesterday and made you take care of me again.” Yamashita spoke nonchalantly and had his back towards Tegoshi.  
  
The younger boy just shook his head. “It was nothing, Pi. I’m here if you need me. That is what friends are for, Pi.” He said gently. “Yamashita, look at me.” Tegoshi demanded gently. But the older man did not even budge from his spot. “Pi, what’s wrong?” Tegoshi asked a little alarmed as he slid off the bed and stepped towards Yamashita.  
  
Tears streamed down his already swollen and puffy eyes. “Do you mean what you said?” Yamashita asked awkwardly as he turned looking Tegoshi in the eyes. Tegoshi let out a sigh of relief as he smiled and nodded. The childish smile of Tegoshi somehow had an effect on Yamashita’s heart. He never did understand it but it almost never failed to make his heart quicken.  
  
He stepped forward towards Yamashita until he was close enough to hear Yamashita’s quiet breathing. Tegoshi gently wiped the tears on Yamashita’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. Yamashita quickly catches his wrist as his eyes locked on Tegoshi’s, exploring the younger man’s eye. Finding a way into his heart once again. Realizing that, Tegoshi looked away. “We will never work, Pi.” He said softly. “We work together almost all our life. You’re a good man, but we will never work.” Tegoshi said quietly.  
  
“Yuya, I don’t understand. Why did you go through all the trouble for me and do what you did if you don’t love me?” Yamashita spoke demandingly but quietly. “Why did you tease me before?” He questioned.  
  
Tegoshi just shook his head. “I didn’t tease you.” He answered. “I didn’t mean to tease you.” He said quietly. “I did what I did because I treasure our friendship. You helped me a lot with my problems before weather you realized it or not, but I can’t stand being hurt. Not again. And not by you.” He said looking back at Yamashita’s face. His eyes were glassy, but with all his might, he would not let Yamashita see him cry. Not at a time like that and not in the position they were in. “It hurts, Pi. It hurts a whole lot, when you forget that few moments.” Tegoshi spoke.  
  
“Give me one more chance. Please.” Yamashita said almost begging. “One more chance for me to redeem myself.”

* * *

The night was early and Nishikido could not get his eyes to close. His mind and his heart ache for one person. It was their week off, and he did not want to seem like he was intruding his privacy during the rare days off from work. But his nagging heart was so persuasive that he called him anyway.

  
Ueda stared at the broad clear sky as the stillness engulfs his emotion and senses. It had only been two days he had not spoken to Nishikido, yet he felt as if it had been much longer. He had known the man for years and never once, he had felt this way about Nishikido. He smiled inwardly as he let his imagination run as wild as they wanted.  
  
Both of them could feel the invisible string tying them together, yet both their ego was too proud to admit the attraction towards each other. Nishikido sighed to himself. While his mind contemplates to call Ueda, his heart was aching to hear his voice.  
  
Ueda does not want to seem desperate for his attention. Yet he wants him to know that he is attracted to him. He is the only one that he never cared to be bullied by. Even before the stage incident, he had been bullied by Nishikido numerous times without realizing it.

* * *

Yasuda could not bring himself to sleep. He could feel Catherine’s heart beats against his skin. Her steady breath accompanied the rise and fall of her scarred chest. Her sleeping face looked so peaceful as if there were no worries in the world for her. He knew what he said was selfish, but he could not help to feel the way he does. 

  
“Can’t sleep?” His elder sister said softly as she sat beside him. Yasuda just smiled at her in returned. “You two are very close aren’t you. Naturally, you would be afraid. It’s okay to be scared, Shota.” She said in a soft voice in order not to wake Catherine up.  
  
Yasuda just shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know if I’m afraid of what I already know or of what she and Ryo are not telling me. These two are always talking quietly.” He spoke. “But at the same time, I don’t know if I’ll be more worried or will I be relief by knowing it either.”  
  
“That’s the job of being a parent, Shota. Only you got it even earlier. I heard about Yamashita. How is she taking it?” She questioned.   
  
Yasuda looked upon Catherine’s face as he removed her fringe from her eyes. “Surprisingly cool. When Ryo told her about it, for a second she was surprised but like a switch being flipped, she suddenly became like it was already known.” He replied.  
  
“You do realize that she’s being strong for you right. She could not stand seeing you hurt. She would never make you sad.” She uttered softly at her younger brother. “Shota, you are as precious to her as she is to you at this moment. But you have to learn to let go. She’s not going to be a child forever. The will be a time when you have to let her go.”   
  
“What do you mean by letting go?” Yasuda questioned as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. “I’m not going to let her die, not without putting up a fight.”  
  
“I don’t…” She started to defend herself. “I didn’t mean it that way. It slipped my mind that she was sick.” She spoke. Yasuda just sighed. “What is it that bothers you so much?” She asked.  
  
“It seemed like it was yesterday that I just met her.” Yasuda started. “Since that time, countless times, she had gone through experimental procedures and surgeries. When the doctor told me that she needs a medical guardian, I could not jump to it, it took me half a year before saying yes. Now that I know her brother, I felt bad for doing so. For not giving him the opportunity to bond with her the way that I did.” Yasuda explained.   
  
“Ah...” She sighed melodically. “My little brother is becoming a man now.” She said teasing him causing Yasuda’s cheek to crimson slightly. “Mom would have been proud of you.”


	15. Chapter 14

Ever since he was awaken in the middle of the night, Yamashita could not seem to fall back to dreamland. The whole night he stayed up contemplating ways he could mend his way back to Tegoshi’s heart. He really hoped that the bridge had not been fully destroyed. Hoping that the mess and the damage are not too bad that it is unfixable.  
  
Tegoshi came out of the bath fully clothed but his hair was dripping wet. His expression since yesterday had soften. Yamashita knew he was not going to let his guard down, but knowing Tegoshi, he would not let his anger consume him. “I’m going to Yasu’s for the rest of the day. I’d understand if you would not want to come along.” He said quietly.  
  
“Yuya.” Yamashita started. “Do you really think, I should?” He asked. Tegoshi just shrugged his shoulders. Yamashita knew he wanted so badly for Catherine and himself to know each other yet he does not want to be the one forcing it on him. “How long are you going to keep giving me the cold shoulders?”  
  
“Until you take on your responsibility as the head of the family and as a leader.” Tegoshi replied coldly. He knew everyone viewed him as the kid, the soft one but even then, he was still human. He has feelings. When he was declined that by others he could just laugh it off but to be declined by Yamashita, he felt broken.  
  
Yamashita was quick to grab his arm and spun Tegoshi to face him. “I didn’t know Saku-chan and Catherine was the same person.” Yamashita said harshly.  
  
“She’s still alive, Pi. Why are you talking about her like she is not?” Tegoshi snapped as he snatched back his arm. “You can be so cruel to some and very good to others. How can you be so cold?”  
  
“Do you want me to go and see her?” Yamashita asked him calmly. He could not understand the man in front of him. Tegoshi could be very gentle at times and very demanding at other times. In this case, he was not sure which of the Tegoshi was talking. “Why are you so angry at me?” In truth, Tegoshi could not answer to either of the question. He could not put it why he was agitated with Yamashita. “Yuya, please.”  
  
Tegoshi’s body trembled. Yamashita had never seen him so filled with emotion before. Tegoshi made a fist till his knuckles turned white. His face flushed and his breathing labored. “Why is it you can never remember the one most important thing I have ever told you. Why is it no one else matters to you beside yourself?” Tegoshi asked.  
  
Yamashita had done many things he regretted. However, he had not done anything worse than the first time he had exposed Tegoshi to the group. It was he who told them that Tegoshi was adopted. It was a stupid fight over a thing he could not even remember now.  
  
“I told you about my family because you asked. Because you looked sincere. Then you went and tell everyone else. What I don’t understand is how can you easily forget about these things?” Tegoshi demanded.  
  
Yamashita looked down. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “Hontou ni sumimasen deshita.” Yamashita said repeatedly as he bowed down to the younger boy.  
  
Never once have he seen Yamashita bowed asking for forgiveness from anyone before. Seeing that he became softer. He moved forward as he embraced the older boy. “Just give my Yamapi back. Please.” He whispered softly.

* * *

Catherine leaned her head on Yasuda as they were laughing together watching Okura and Uchi who were playing on the console game on television. “Ojamashimasu.” Tegoshi’s loud voice boomed over the loud music of the game.

  
“Yuya.” Catherine sat up smiling. “Yamashita-kun.” She bowed slightly before leaning back on Yasuda. “Let me play too.” She whined to the two boys who were oblivious of their surroundings.  
  
Tegoshi just smiled as he took a seat beside Catherine. “Where’s Ryo-chan?” He said looking at Yasuda. Yasuda just shrugged his shoulders. “Eh? He’s never late... In fact he’s the one who reminded me to come.” Tegoshi said.  
  
Catherine just pouted. “He’s late again. Maybe another surprise.” She joked smiling while looking up at Yasuda. It was at the same time her phone rang. “Eh?” She made a sound before picking up. “Are you running late again?” was the first thing she said as she answered the call.  
  
“I have something in Tokyo. Tell minna, gomen, I will not be there and had to cancel at the very last moment.” Nishikido said apologetically. “I’ll tell you everything later okay. Yakusoku ne.” He said quickly before Catherine had the chance to protest. “Gomen na.” He said again.  
  
Catherine just grumbled. “Fine, you have to tell me later though.” She said. “Ah.., Ryo-chan, my letter is in your bag.” She uttered.  
  
“I gave them to Shota yesterday.” Nishikido replied, as there was a voice beside him mumbling something that Catherine could not make out. “Hime-chan, Ueda-kun said hello.” He said followed by a burst of laughter beside him. “Just don’t tell them I’m with Ueda-kun, alright.” Nishikido spoke a little shyly.  
  
Catherine’s pout turns into a smile. “Okay. Saku-chan said hi back.” Catherine said before she ended the call. Then she turned and looks at Yasuda pouting her lips once more. “Ryo-chan is in Tokyo. He has something to take care of.” She said.  
  
“Why do I have a feeling that he’s hiding his girlfriend from us again?” Uchi interjected as he stood up and hand Catherine the console control. “Okura-kun is wicked today. Be careful.” He said giggling. Catherine just stuck her tongue out at him. “Yasu, I have a tiny headache. Onegai.” Uchi said as he sat crossed legged in front of Yasuda.  
  
“Big baby.” Catherine said making a face at him.  
  
Yasuda let out a laugh. “See, even she can see that.” He said, yet his hand gently massaged the younger boy’s head. Uchi just pretended not to hear Yasuda. He’s too used to looking at Yasuda as the responsible one when neither Shibutani nor Nishikido is present.  
  
“Where’s Shibutani-san?” Tegoshi questioned.  
  
“I’m not that small, Yuya.” A voice came from beside Catherine. Catherine who was playing with Okura burst out laughing. Shibutani who was in a lying position sat up. Catherine leaned towards him and whispered something that only the three of them could hear. Another burst of laughter erupted.  
  
Yamashita really felt odd being there with them. He felt out of place. Tegoshi seemed to be at ease with the Kansai boys, as he kept talking non-stop with Uchi and Yasuda. “Pi, it’s okay for you to go and talk to her you know.” Yasuda said suddenly as three pairs of eyes fixed on him.  
  
Yamashita hesitated. “I don’t know what to talk to her about.” He admitted. He is not good with kids. Especially when he is related to her.  
  
Uchi stood up. “You don’t need a specific topic. Just start talking to her.” He said as he pulled the older man with him to where Catherine was. “Oi, oi, oi. That’s more than my score already.” He said loudly as he ruffled Catherine’s hair.  
  
“Old man can’t play this game.” Catherine said as a slap hit on the back of her head. “Gomen, ossan.” She said to Shibutani giggling. “Mo chotto. Mo chotto. I’m about to beat Tacchon.” She said as she brings her concentration back on the television screen. With her character gave a final blow to Okura’s characters head, the game was over. “Yosh.” She said sticking her tongue out at Okura. Okura made a face to her and hands Shibutani his controller. “Chotto.” Catherine protested. “You lost to Hiroki-kun, its Shotan turn.” She said.  
  
Shibutani tuned to see if the younger boy was coming for his turn, but instead Yasuda was plucking his guitar with Tegoshi in the living room. “He’s not coming.” Shibutani replied.  
  
“Yamashita-kun. You know how to play this game, desho?” Catherine said switching her vision to Yamashita. Yamashita just shrugged his shoulders. “You’ve at least tried it before right?” Catherine questioned with high hopes in her eyes pleading for him to at least nod.  
  
Yamashita just nodded. “But I’m not good in games.” He spoke.  
  
“So are these ossans, but they play anyway.” Catherine said as she used Shibutani as her chair and Yamashita sat beside Shibutani. “Loser will lose a chance to play and change player.” She said as she began to choose her character.  
  
“Any preference?” Yamashita questioned.  
  
Catherine groaned. “You have played this before.” She whined. “Anyone except Jin.” She said confidently. “I don’t want to compete with the same character.” She smiled. The two siblings played the game with such passion and concentration. Catherine almost seemed like throwing her anger through her characters. Yet all the while, she was smiling.


	16. Chapter 15

Four days of bliss and joy in Osaka went by like a breeze to Catherine. She finally met her brother but she realizes that the time she spent in Osaka can only be kept in her memory. Her time with Yasuda and her moments with Yamashita.  
  
“Nii-chan, let’s have lunch together like today again tomorrow. The last one before I go back to the hospital.” Catherine said as she and Yasuda packed her bag for their trip back to Tokyo the next morning.  
  
Yasuda just smiled as he pulled the little girl on his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. “You had fun today?” He questioned. Catherine just nodded. “You know how I still haven’t given you anything for your birthday right.” Yasuda smiled.  
  
“I thought this is my present. You gave me the best four days in my life ever.” Catherine said innocently.  
  
Yasuda just let out a little laugh. “Nope.” He said. “I knew Ryo were going back to Tokyo. I filed to adopt you. He went back to finalize the filing. We would have joint guardianship, meaning any medical or legal decision would have to go through us.” Yasuda started explaining.  
  
“So Yamashita and you was talking in private just now was about that? You were asking him?” Catherine questioned.  
  
“Basically yes. But we had done it earlier; it was more of a force than asking. But he is fine with it. Although, he would still like to be your brother.” Yasuda said. “I think it would be best if you tell him about your past.”  
  
Catherine hesitated. “I want to tell him but there are many things that I myself don’t know. There are things that I could not remember.” She replied. Slowly she looked down while fiddling with her hand guiltily. “Actually, Ryo knows more about me. I was afraid to tell you. I don’t want you to think I favor him more. Just that he just does know more.”  
  
Yasuda cupped her chin up to face him. “It’s fine. Na, but now you have to tell me too okay.” Yasuda spoke gently. Catherine nodded. “What was it that you didn’t tell me but you told him?” He questioned. Catherine was not sure what to answer to him. “Nani?”  
  
“It’s not that important. Ne. I promise not to keep anything else from you anymore.” Catherine said guiltily.  
  
Yasuda smiled gently at her. “Na, Saku-chan, what you can’t tell me, you tell Ryo ne. Ano, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re my little girl.” Yasuda teased. Catherine gently wrapped her hands around Yasuda and snuggled to him.  
  
“Arigatou na, nii-chan. For taking care of me and for being there for me, zutto.” Catherine voice muffled as she buried her face on Yasuda’s chest.

* * *

Nishikido and Ueda had picked Catherine and Yasuda up at the train station. It was then that Nishikido called Yamashita to ask him to meet them at a restaurant for lunch. It was right after lunch that Catherine gave Yamashita the will she was trusted with. “Nani o kore?” Yamashita asked as she slipped the letter quietly on Yamashita’s hand. “Sakura?” Yamashita uttered her name but his eyes fixed on Yasuda

  
“It’s something that I wanted to see you for. It’s from my mother. It says there for your eyes only. I don’t know what’s in it either. And I can’t read Japanese.” Catherine replied.  
  
Yasuda just sat quietly waiting for the others to react. An awkward silence fell upon them. Yamashita flipped the envelope to see if there was any writing on it. “Yuigon?” He questioned breaking the silence. Catherine just looked at him blankly. “It’s a will.” Yamashita said. “Akira Tomohisa.” He read the smaller print. “Why is it given to me?” He questioned. Catherine just shook her head. “She didn’t tell you why she’s giving this to me?”  
  
Catherine just looked down as she started to speak. “I got it from my lawyer. She had written it years before. I don’t know when. After the accident, before I came here, he gave me the letter.” Catherine explained.  
  
Yamashita peeled the envelope carefully and took out the letter. Quietly he read it. A few minutes passed when he took out the other things that were in the envelope. “You have never seen our father have you?” Yamashita questioned. Catherine shook her head in reply. “Not even his picture?”  
  
“Mom said she don’t have one of him. But I never need to see him anyways, I have my father.” Catherine answered a little irritated with Yamashita’s question. “I don’t need to see that picture.” She said stubbornly.  
  
“It’s not of father. It’s my mom and your mom when they were younger.” Yamashita said softly. He knew by then, he was not the only one who hated his father. But Catherine did not hold any grudge on him or anyone else.  
  
“Yamashita-kun, gomen ne. I can’t, I just.” Catherine hesitated. Her steady breath became a little labored. “I’ve done my part in giving the letter to you. I don’t want…” She started again but words just could not come out of her mouth.  
  
Ueda was quick to react. “Ryo, if I may, you guys should talk over things that you had planned. Let me take her for a while.” He said quietly to Nishikido. The other man hesitated, but he nodded anyways. “Saku-chan, come on.” He said softly as he hoisted her up and rubbing her back. “Daijoubu, ne.” he whispered softly as he walked away from the table.  
  
“Gomen ne.” Catherine said over and over. “I just couldn’t remember. I can’t. I don’t want to.” She said with tears streaming down her face. Wetting Ueda’s t-shirt.  
  
Nishikido eased a little watching Ueda take the little girl and soothing her. “Your mother told me everything, Pi. I don’t understand why wouldn’t she tell you. Because knowing you; you would put your problems aside to see other people happy, but when I knew about this, I really thought differently, until you told me that you never knew about her.” He spoke breaking the awkward silence that was dawning on them.  
  
“Okasan, told me about Catherine, but I never listened. I knew she was sick and was undergoing treatment, but I never knew what it was. So I just could not careless. Then, she told me my sister was dying.” He paused. His eyes were glassy brimming with tears. “I desperately wanted to meet her, but I was afraid if I meet her too early, the bond would be made and it would hurt more to lose her. I didn’t know it would hurt either way.”


	17. Chapter 16

A month passed since they had their lunch. Catherine rotates her time at Nishikido’s apartment and with Yasuda. At times Shibutani would be there with her and at times Ueda would put her to sleep. “We would be late, are you sure you’d want to wait? Or maybe you could go with Ueda first.” Yasuda said as he drove to the company. Lately it had become a habit of his to drive. Mostly because he did not want the attention on the trains and it would be much safer for Catherine.  
  
“It’s fine. I’ll wait, quietly I promise.” Catherine said softly without even taking her eyes off the book she was reading. Since living with the boys, she had picked up reading, as she has to wait for them numerous times.  
  
Yasuda glanced at her. “A new book?” He questioned. Catherine just answered him with a ‘hn’. “It’s more interesting than me, huh?” He said faking a hurt tone. It took her about half a minute to finish the book and respond to Yasuda.  
  
“A little bit. But Nii-chan is interesting when you are singing.” Catherine replied.  
  
“Then stay with Ryo tonight.” Yasuda sulked. His pouty lips trembled as they refrained from smiling. “He’s more interesting no?” He added.  
  
Catherine giggled. “But he’s not nii-chan. He does not tuck me to sleep and sing to me. Tatsu-niichan does that. But he’s not you either. I like it when you do it better.” Catherine said trying to coax Yasuda. Yasuda just kept quiet. “Nii-chan.” She said in a singsong voice. “Nii-chan saiko ne… honma ni kakkoi.” She spurted out.  
  
That, Yasuda cannot stop himself from laughing. “Say it again.” He spoke between his laughs.  
  
“Nani?” Catherine asked innocently.  
  
“Honma ni? Seriously… Honma ni.” Yasuda said still laughing. “You’ve never spoken in Kansai-ben before. You must have been hanging around Ryo and me too much.” Yasuda spoke easing on his laughter.  
  
Catherine just looks at him with her innocent puppy eyes. “Shibuyan always say it.” She said smiling a little. “Shibuyan always teaching me things you wouldn’t.”  
  
“What things that I wouldn’t teach you?” Yasuda exclaimed.  
  
“Kansai-ben.” Catherine replied quickly.  
  
Yasuda broke into laughter. “You could barely speak Japanese after three years. Kansai-ben ka?” He spoke slightly teasing the little girl. “You still speak Japanese like an American.”  
  
“That’s because I am American. I was born there and I was raised there.” Catherine said. “See, that is why Shibuyan is nicer.” She said pouting her lips.  
  
“Hime.” Yasuda said as he pulled up in a parking spot. “Hime-chan.” He joked. “It’s not that I don’t want to teach you it’s just that I’ll laugh every time you’d speak. So I better not teach.” Yasuda spoke sincerely. “Your Japanese are getting better though.”  
  
“I’m living with people who refuse to speak in English, do I have a choice?” Catherine replied. “But your English is going nowhere.” She said sticking her tongue out. The bickering of the two of them went on and on till they reached the Kanjani’s room.  
  
“You two are really loud. You’re getting more and more like Baru nowadays.” Murakami said as soon as Catherine and Yasuda entered the room.  
  
“I do not.” Catherine retorted quickly. Murakami just nodded his head. “Shin-niichan is louder.” She said as she took a seat where Murakami was lying down. “Where are the others? Why are you here alone?” She asked.  
  
Murakami gently wrapped his arm around her waist as he closed his eyes. “Ryo is with NewS. Baru, Maru and Yoko are not here yet; Tacchon went to get some snacks or something. He’s always eating that boy.”  
  


*******

  
As soon as his meeting with the guys from NewS, Nishikido rushed to the Kanjani’s room. He knew he was already late but probably the Kanjani boys would just be gathering to start. One thing about the Kanjani’s is that although they are always on time, they would wait till the very last person to arrive before starting.  
  
“Ryo.” Yamashita called. Nishikido halted suddenly. “We’re going to eat.” He started.  
  
“You know I can’t. They are my band too.” Nishikido answered.  
  
Yamashita just smiled. “I don’t mean you. Can I take Sakura-chan with us while you guys are having the meeting?” He asked.  
  
Nishikido shrugged.”Come and ask her yourself.” He answered as he walked to the other room. As he entered the room, Catherine was shyly talking with Okura. She was still having a crush on the youngest member of the Kanjani group but slowly she was getting close to him. Okura really knew how to entertain her.  
  
Yamashita trailed behind Nishikido as they both entered the room. Nishikido just peck Catherine on her forehead and headed for the meeting table followed by Okura. Catherine refrained herself from saying unnecessary things to him as well. She could see that Nishikido was drained and exhausted.  
  
“Do you want to join us for a dinner?” Yamashita said as he knelt down. Catherine hesitated to answer. Seeing the tense atmosphere building around the siblings, Yasuda went to them.  
  
“I don’t know how long the meet will last for. Can you take care of her for a little while please?” Yasuda said to Yamashita. “Just for a while ne. Call me if anything is wrong.” Yasuda said gently. Leaving her with no other choice, Catherine just nodded. “Tell him if you’re not feeling too well ne.” Yasuda said to Catherine. Reluctantly Catherine nodded as she trailed behind Yamashita.  
  
“Is it okay?” Catherine turned and looked at Yasuda and Nishikido. The two men just nodded in response. “I won’t be too long.” She said smiling before catching up to Yamashita. “Yamashita-kun, thank you.” She said tilting her head up as she walked beside her brother.  
  
Yamashita just smiled at her. “Why do you keep calling me Yamashita-kun?” He questioned. Catherine shrugged. Somehow, she could not bring herself to call him with a more intimate name as she does with the Kanjanis. “Tomo-kun ne.” He said softly before he opened the sliding door to the NewS’ meeting room.  
  
Shyly Catherine smiled at Tegoshi who was the only other person that she knew. “Hisashiburi.” she spoke softly to Tegoshi.  
  
Tegoshi’s face lit up instantly. “Hisashiburi.” He said lowering himself. “Genki ka?” he asked. Catherine just nodded. “Ah, minna, this is Sakura-chan. Pi’s little sister.” Tegoshi said.  
  
“That is Kei-chan.” Yamashita started as he pointed to Koyama who was sitting with his music player. “Beside him is Shige and this is Massu.” he said as Masuda came and knelt in front of her.  
  
“Hajime mashite.” Catherine said shyly.  
  
“She doesn’t look anything like you. She’s very cute and pretty, unlike you.” Masuda teased. Yamashita slapped the back of Masuda’s head in reply. “Let’s go and eat. I’m hungry.” Masuda said looking up at Yamashita.  
  
“Yeah, yeah let’s go.” Yamashita said. “Are you okay?” He questioned her quietly. Catherine just nodded. Yamashita paused. “Ano, do you have any diet restriction?” He questioned. Catherine just shook his head.  
  
Catherine was chattier with Tegoshi and Koyama compared to Yamashita. She was a little awkward but she tried her best to act less awkward with her brother. “How did you meet with Ryo-chan and Yasuda-kun?” Koyama questioned.  
  
Catherine let out a laugh before answering. “Um, I met Nii-chan at the park. I found his guitar pick then I looked for him for a few days before I found him.” Catherine said as she held on to the guitar pick that was strung as her pendant. “Ryo-chan came with nii-chan one day and we clicked right away.”  
  
“You’re really close with Yasuda-kun aren’t you?” Koyama commented. Catherine just nodded. “You don’t talk much do you?” Catherine just shrugged shyly.  
  
It was out of the blue Catherine reached for Yamashita’s hand. “Tomo-niichan, are the meetings going to be much longer?” Catherine questioned.  
  
“I’m not too sure. Naze?” Yamashita asked.  
  
“I don’t feel too well. My chest feels funny.” She said quietly as her face paled. “Can you call nii-chan for me, please?” Her breath became shorten and sharp.  
  
“Is it painful?” Yamashita questioned as he quickly punched in Nishikido’s number.


	18. Chapter 17

The seven of them rushed to the hospital as soon as they got the call from Yamashita. Nishikido and Yasuda barely said a word since they received the call. “Yasu, daijoubu?” Shibutani asked. Yasuda just nodded.  
  
“Gomen nasai.” Nishikido said guiltily and he bowed down to Yasuda. Yasuda just shook his head softly as he laid his hands on Nishikido’s shoulders pulling him up.  
  
“Yamashita is her brother, Ryo. You were not wrong letting her out with him.” Yasuda spoke calmly. One thing that he had learn living with Catherine for the past one month is acceptance. “It’s probably just exhaustion. She get’s that when she pushes herself too much sometimes.” He said.  
  
Nishikido straighten and looked up at Yasuda. “Are you listening to yourself?” Nishikido said a little irritated by Yasuda’s reaction. “Yasuda. Are you really listening to yourself?”  
  
“Ryo. I’ve been with her almost every day. I see what she goes through every single day.” Yasuda said softly. “Her sudden attacks, the pale blue lips that you have to see every time she gasps for the painful breath. Ryo, you have not seen anything. We make sure of it.”  
  
Nishikido pierced a stare at Yasuda. “What do you mean.”  
  
“You see during the days that you could not be here and I could not be contacted, we often told you guys that we are somewhere. We were at the hospital. She’s gotten much worse since the last time she had her check up.” Yasuda explained calmly. “Without the transplant, her heart is a time bomb right now. She don’t have much time now, Ryo.”  
  
“There are still other treatments.” Nishikido said in vain.  
  
Yasuda sighed and took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Nishikido, she’s growing up. Her heart cannot cope with her growth. The only way is to get the transplant. It’s been more than three years she had been waiting for the day.” He explained. “Ryo, it’s harder to see her suffer than to let her go.”  
  
“She just turned ten a month ago. She’s still too young.” Nishikido’s trembling voice said as if he was trying to convince himself of it.  
  
Yasuda looked down upon his hand trembling a little trying to suppress his frustration. “She’s too young to suffer Ryo.”

* * *

“It was not an attack you now.” Catherine said as she sat in the car with Nishikido and Yasuda. “Sorry for making you worry about me again.” She said quietly as she leaned on Yasuda. Yasuda just wrapped his arm around her shoulders protectively. “Ryo-chan. Are you okay?” She asked as she realizes that Nishikido had not said a word since her discharge.  
  
Nishikido just nodded in reply. Catherine looked up at Yasuda with her weary eyes. “He’s a little tired, princess.” Yasuda spoke softly. “I have a shoot tomorrow. You’ll be staying with Ryo tonight ne.” Yasuda said. Catherine pouted a little. “Gomen na. I just got the call.”  
  
Nishikido glared at the smaller man from the rearview mirror. Catherine just nodded. It has always been him who was the busy one. But he knew Yasuda just wanted him to spend more time with Catherine. “Ryo-chan is angry at me.” Catherine whispered to Yasuda.  
  
“You two really should have told me about the attacks you know.” Nishikido’s tone was a little hurt. Catherine just looked up at Yasuda feeling a little guilty.  
  
Yasuda sighed heavily. “It was my bad, Ryo. You had your shoots. You have to think about NewS, you don’t need the extra worry. I’m sorry.” Yasuda said gently.  
  
“Atashi mo. Gomen.” Catherine said quickly. Nishikido gave no reaction instead, he just stared straight ahead on the endless road. “Ryo-chan.” She called him brattishly. “Ryo-chan, gomen na.” Finally, a smile cracked on the man’s face. “Ryo-chan.” she said with a baby speech.  
  
Nishikido straight face cracked a smile as he glanced at the other two by the means of the rearview mirror. “Can you be without your niichan?” Nishikido asked. Catherine just stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
“Are you going to be alone with her?” Yasuda questioned. Nishikido just shook his head. “You and Ueda again huh? Is there something going on with the two of you?” Yasuda asked suspiciously. “You and him seemed to be going out a lot lately.” Nishikido just smiled at that comment.  
  
“Nii-chan to Baru-niichan is like that too.” Catherine commented. With that, Yasuda’s cheek crimsoned. “Ueda-kun does not sleep with Ryo-chan like we do with Baru-niichan though.”  
  
Nishikido eyes the smaller man suspiciously. “Ryo, we’re close. You know that already.”  
  
“Never knew you were that close.” Nishikido replied.

* * *

The clock struck five in the morning when Yasuda received the call. The whole night he could not sleep. Although knowing Catherine was with Nishikido does make him feel better, yet his heart could not settle enough for him to sleep.  
  
Yasuda paled as the guitar in his hand fell to the floor with a loud ‘bang’. His knee became soft as he sank to the floor. “Shota?” Shibutani’s voice called to him yet he could not find his voice to answer. The warm hand of the older guy settled on his shoulder as he sat beside him. “She’s going to be fine.” He whispered softly.  
  
Yasuda shook his head softly. “I’m scared. I’m afraid to see her.” his voice cracked as he spoke. His chest heaves as his tears streamed down his face. Shibutani gently wrapped the younger boy in his embrace. “I have to be strong for Ryo and Pi.” He said after a few moments. Gently he pushed the older man and Shibutani wiped his tears.  
  
“They are big boys, Shota. They can be strong for themselves. You don't have to take care of everyone you know.” Shibutani spoke. From the surface Yasuda might seemed a little distant and childish, but really he was the one that ties Kanjani8 together. He’s the ‘aniki’ of the group. He’s the one taking care of other people. “It’s okay to cry, it’s fine to be sad.”  
  
Yasuda gave him a weak smile. “Ryo’s a gentle soul. It’s hardest to fix when is broken. I’ll be okay, Baru.” Yasuda’s weak words were more towards convincing himself rather than a statement.


	19. Chapter 18

Catherine refused to see Yasuda, Nishikido and Yamashita. There was only one person that was granted permission to see her at that point. She did not want to appear cruel. But she needed to do that.  
  
“Hiro-kun please tell nii-chan I’m really sorry.” Catherine said as she gasps for air. She could feel her time was dawning near. “I can never let them see me like this. Tell them I say thank you for everything.” she said as her voice became softer.  
  
His whole body trembled. Holding back his tears was not an easy task for Uchi. “Saku-chan just hold on for a little longer ne.” He spoke softly as his slim long fingers gently caressed the young girl’s hair. Catherine just gave him a sad smile. “Nii-chan is on his way. You have to tell him yourself.” Uchi’s voice quivered as he spoke.  
  
“Minna, arigatou.” Catherine managed to whisper with such finality as her eyes shut for the last time. Her heartbeat gradually slows down until it stopped.  
  
The final beep could be heard outside the closed room. Yasuda let his final tear dropped as he held Nishikido back. Nishikido tried to free himself from Yasuda’s tight hold but he could not. the doctors rushed to her room but Yasuda was quick to stop them at the entrance. “She had suffered enough.” Yasuda spoke as he stopped the team of doctor and nurses. “It’s her last wish.” he said releasing the other man.  
  
He had to be strong. He had to be the one who holds up the team. He was so broken in side that it hurts to even breathe. But he had promised her to let her go when her time comes. He promised her to be the strong one. Yasuda felt weak and small, yet he appears to be the strongest on the surface.  
  
Uchi dragged his heavy leg to the group of men assembled outside the room. All he could do was shook his head. Yasuda flopped on the chair as Nishikido pushed his way through to where Catherine was. Yasuda was quick to follow Nishikido. “You have to let her go, Ryo. She can’t go in peace if you keep being like this.” Yasuda said softly coaxing the other man.  
  
Ueda who was the one that found Catherine on the floor that morning gasping and the one who drove both Catherine and Nishikido to the hospital laid his hand on the small of Nishikido’s back. “Matte.” he said softly as he pulled the other man outside.  
  
Yasuda trailed the two figure with his eyes. When he was sure, they were out of sight a single teardrop fell on the lifeless body. “Gomen ne Saku-chan. I wasn’t there with you.” He whispered. Gradually one by one the other members and their friends came in.  
  
“Daijoubu?” Yasuda heard Murakami’s voice asked him softly. He took in a deep breath as he nodded. For the last time his eyes trailed the lifeless body of the kid he once called his sister. His eyes caught something in her hand. The guitar pick that was strung that was made into a pendant was firmly grasp in her hand. Gently he peeled her hand and took it. “You never really left her side at all do you.” Murakami added.  
  


*******

  
It was after everyone had left the house except for a few other Johnnies that was left behind Yasuda excused himself to be alone for a little while. After they left the hospital, he had not shed a single tear for Catherine. “Yasu?” The oldest member of Kanjani8 said as he came to Yasuda’s room.  
  
“Nani?” Yasuda replied standing up instantly.  
  
Yokoyama just shook his head. “Honma ni, daijoubu?” he questioned. Yasuda just nodded as he forced a smile on his face awkwardly. “You can come talk to me if you want to. Whenever you want to.”  
  
Yasuda nodded. “I’m just tired really. I’m okay.” He said as he neared the older man. “I’m not going to mourn not because I’m not sad. It was her very last request. I’m just trying my best to fulfill it.” Yasuda tilted his head up a little as he spoke. He knew one by one, his friend would come in his room to make him feel better if he was not with them. “Let’s go.” he said pushing the older man outside.  
  
Ueda never left Nishikido’s side since the scene at the hospital. They were talking quietly in a corner as Yasuda came to join them. Yasuda just greeted them back with a gentle smile. Nishikido quickly turned his head from the smaller man.  
  
Yasuda took the hint and changed his plan to speak to Nishikido at that moment. He understand Nishikido is the kind that needs time to digest the sadness. He never really handled with a loss before.  
  
Quietly he sat himself with the big group in the middle of the living room. Instantly, the whole group who was talking became silent as all eyes was averted to him. Puzzled, Yasuda spoke. “Nande?” he asked innocently.  
  
His reaction made the group burst in laughter. The same instant, as if something possessed over Nishikido, he shot straight towards Yasuda. Yasuda’s head fell on the carpeted floor. He was lucky in the sense that his head was only millimeters from hitting the Japanese style coffee table behind him. Yasuda was quick to react with a forceful punch on Nishikido’s jaw sending the other man to the ground beside him.  
  
The next thing he knew was he was already on top of Nishikido with hand on Nishikido’s neck and his knee on the other man’s chest pinning him on the ground. Every other idol in the room just backed off except for Maruyama and Tanaka. A split second passed, suddenly Yasuda looked confused as he released Nishikido and quickly backed off from him. “Gomen nasai.” Yasuda said panting slightly. The two other man just held Nishikido, afraid he would attack for the second time.  
  
“You’re such a hypocrite Yasu. You never really cared about her at all do you.” Nishikido shouted. His face were flushed with anger.  
  
Yasuda just smiled at that statement. He might seemed a little disconnected sometimes but he is never a hypocrite. He let out a laugh as he took a letter from his pocket and threw them at Nishikido. “Think whatever you want. But until you read that get out of my face.” Yasuda spoke as he moved away from the group with Shibutani and Yokoyama trailing behind him.  
  
When Yasuda was out of sight, the two men holding Nishikido loosen their grip and eventually letting him go. Nishikido picked up the unopened letter and he quickly opened it.  
  
‘Ryo-chan, if you are reading this, it’s highly probable that I am already gone or I’m unconscious (I have a stronger feeling of the earlier one though). Gomen ne Ryo-chan. I’ve been nothing but trouble to you and Sho-niichan lately. Also gomen for not being able to keep my promise to see you at your altar and to be the one to dance that first dance with you. Sorry for not being able to hold your child and love them like you did to me.  
  
The list would go on forever if I write here. Foremostly I’m really sorry for hurting you and leaving you.  
  
Just as I made niichan promise not to be sad and cry when I’m gone, I would really love for you to do the same. Niichan my seem strong on the outside but I know his soul is crumbling as each second past. He just wanted to stay strong so he would not be a burden to others. Make sure he would not overwork himself in order to get past his sadness.  
  
Ryo-chan too, I don’t want you to mourn me leaving. Think of it this way, at least I can be with my mom and dad finally. But believe me, I’ll never forget minna. I’ll always live in your heart.  
  
Lastly, before I bid my last goodbye, I want to thank minna for always being there for me.  
  
And Ryochan, never hurt Ueda-niichan anymore please. He cares about you more than he does to himself. Arigatou na, Ryo-chan.’  
  
Nishikido who was on his knee sank even lower. Ueda quickly rushed to his side as he embraced him protectively ignoring the glances of others. Silently Nishikido’s tears streamed his face without making even one sound.

* * *

When everyone was finally gone, it really hit Yasuda that Catherine was never going to come back to him. He sat on Catherine’s bed as he reached for her pillow. The strong scent of strawberry mixed with vanilla was still strong on the pillow.

  
Without realizing, his tears fell down his cheek to the pillow. He took a deep breath to hold it back instead, it just worsen the tightness in his chest and the flow of his tears.  
  
Like a dream, he felt the familiar childish snuggle beside him. The kind that he knows he will miss. “I’m sorry for not keeping my promise not to cry.” Yasuda mumbled to himself. He would live for the snuggling sensation to stay longer with him but soon it was gone.  
  
“If you saw what happened to me and Ryo-chan earlier, I’m really sorry for such thing. I hope he will be fine soon for all our sake.” Yasuda kept talking to the wind. “Hime-chan, be in peace where ever you are ne. I will be fine over time. But for now let me grief for losing you a little. It really hurts faking this strength.” he said as he snuggled the pillow close and eventually fell asleep in the room.


	20. Chapter 19

It felt like it was just moments ago, she was with him strumming incoherently as she sang off pitched. The rare days he would have her all to himself would be the days that she would be a little quieter than usual but nonetheless, she was slowly becoming more comfortable with him.   
  
_“Tomo-niichan, you have not opened the letter my mother wrote have you?” Catherine asked quietly one fine evening as they were sitting at the park near the jimusho just listening to the breeze as lazily Yamashita meddled with his guitar. Picking on any chord his fingers felt comfortable with at the time, trying to cover the uneasiness of her question. “Na… I want to know what’s in it too.” She said quietly._  
  
Yamashita set his guitar a side as he places his hands on Catherine’s shoulders. “It’s probably nothing.” He replied. “Why would you want to know anyways?” He questioned. Catherine shrugged her shoulders. “Remember the time Yasuda-kun wanted to tell about your past?” He asked. Catherine nodded as an answer. “Why did you run away?”   
  
Catherine just smiled. “Some memories are meant to be forgotten.” She said simply.   
  
He wondered what was the memories that she was talking about and why was she insisting on keeping it to herself. The cold wind blew as Yamashita shoved his hand in his coat pocket. His fingers felt the unopened enveloped that had been in there since the day she had given it to him. Sighing, Yamashita took a seat on the park bench where he and Catherine usually sat while waiting for either Nishikido or Yasuda.   
  
Carefully he peeled the old envelope and took out the piece of paper carefully. He peeked inside the envelope once more and pours out the contents onto his hand. There was a key attached to a silver chain, a silver band and a few old photographs. He flipped the photographs one by one. The first was his mother and Catherine’s mother on their high school graduation, the second one was the wedding of Catherine’s mother and her father and the last one was with Catherine and her father. Not one of the pictures had their father in it. Finally, he opened the letter and began to read.   
  
‘Tomohisa-kun, this letter will explain everything to you and your mother. Firstly, I want you to forgive me for all the wrong doings I had done to your family and for making you suffer at a very young age. I’m truly sorry for what had happened to your family is partly because of my obliviousness of the family and friends that I left behind when I came to reach for my dreams in the new land.  
  
When I came across a Japanese man in my school, he made me fell in love all over again with the country that I had dreaded a few years before. It was not until after three months into my pregnancy that I got to know that he has a wife and son in Japan. I was even more surprise when I saw a picture of your mother in his wallet. You were already ten by then.   
  
It was three months after that I had my daughter. She was premature and had a lot of complications. Maybe it was god’s punishment for me for leaving behind my family who needed me. I don’t know if you would ever see her but she is really a great girl. She too never met her father. When he left us, I was in labor, since then he was never again to be seen. So, please, I beg you not to blame her or even hate her for what happened.   
  
This was written not to tell you the life story that I messed up but to give you your right to our father’s money. Here in the US, the law is always on the side of the child. We received a bit of money as a result of his abandonment, I did not use one cent of the earning and I’m giving them to you. You have the right to it as much as Catherine has them.   
  
The key is the key to the deposited box where you can retrieve all of them; the password is engraved in the silver ring I attach to this letter. Tomohisa-kun, Catherine might not have a lot of time. She was not supposed to live to see her fifth birthday, but she is almost seven now. When she is fit enough to, travel I will come back to Japan and the four of us will finally meet. That is what I hope and I hope you would give is that chance.   
  
Again sorry for the sorrow and pain that I have caused.’  
  
Yamashita closed his eyes furrowing his brows a little, as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Pi.” Nishikido’s voice spoke as he sat himself beside Yamashita. “They are waiting for you.” He said quietly. Yamashita’s throat tightened as he tried to swallow his sorrow. “You’re not the only one you know.” He said before he stood up.  
  
“She was not your blood, Ryo. You didn’t say those awful things to her and you didn’t reject your sister just for having the same father as you do.” Yamashita spoke. “There was a reason for me not wanting to know her. The reason was strong enough until you and Yasuda had to meddle with my personal life.” Nishikido reacted as if he did not hear Yamashita’s last sentence.   
  


*******

  
“Pi, I don’t understand.” Tegoshi spoke softly as they sat in the meeting room alone long after everyone else had already went home. “You were getting close to her, why are you closing yourself up again?” He questioned.   
  
Yamashita shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”   
  
“I understand the feeling of losing someone you love, Pi.” Tegoshi insisted. Yamashita smirked. “You can talk to me you know.”  
  
“Yuya, the last few weeks felt like a dream. Tell me this is just a dream. A dream that ended as a nightmare.” Yamashita spoke. “Why do I always lose the person I love?” He questioned. Tegoshi just wrapped his arms around his leader and embrace him tightly without any words. “I never said sorry to her for the way I treated her.”   
  
“She never needed for you to say it.” Tegoshi said as he took out a piece of paper as slipped it in Yamashita’s hand. “Uchi gave it to me earlier.”  
  
‘Arigato ne, Tomo-niichan. I’ve never been happier in my life. These past months although we had our difficulties, I’m happy we met. I’m sorry for what our father did to us and for being a burden to all of you, but I want to thank you for giving me the taste of the great life we had. –Sakura-‘  
  
“She forgave you a long time ago. You just need to forgive yourself now.” Tegoshi spoke, as Yamashita stood stunned.


	21. Epilogue

Gradually Nishikido could accept Catherine’s passing. It took him more than one week to return back to himself. Yasuda although he never showed a sign of mourning, he became a little more reserved and distant. Although, it took Nishikido about five minutes after reading the letter for him to apologize to Yasuda.  
  
Yasuda sat alone with his guitar strumming away softly during their break from rehearsal. “0i, Yassan daijoubu ka?” Nishikido’s voice called from behind. Yasuda just answered him with a nod without even looking at him. “Let’s go for lunch.” he said.  
  
“I’m not hungry. You guys go ahead.” Yasuda answered simply with a smile. Nishikido knows enough not to bother Yasuda when he is with his guitar.  
  
Nishikido just nodded. As soon as he was out the door, Yasuda went through his notebook once again. He glanced through the set list one more time and the skit script. Yasuda sighed as he felt a dull throb in his head. The concert would be held in about a week time and he the time was definitely wrong for him to get sick.  
  
A figure sat down beside Yasuda and sighed. “Headache again?” Shibutani questioned. Yasuda just nodded as he smiled. Without any further question, he began to massage the younger boy’s temple. Yasuda closed his eyes and smiled. “Shota, you have a slight temperature. You should take it easy a little.” he said.  
  
“I’m perfectly fine, Baru. Just a little tired.” Yasuda spoke quietly. “Take a look at this.” He said as he hands Shibutani his notebook. Shibutani shook his head. He knew Yasuda is a perfectionist, but he was going a little too serious by changing and organizing for each and every day of the concert. They usually just have the main flow and improvise as they go.  
  
“You know that all of us are here to listen if you want to talk right?” Shibutani said. Yasuda just nodded. “Minna is waiting. Let’s go.” Shibutani stood up, Yasuda followed suit. Suddenly Yasuda grabbed Shibutani’s shoulder as his vision tunneled. “Eh, daijoubu?” he questioned.  
  
Yasuda nodded. “Maybe I stood up too fast.” Yasuda said taking a deep breath. Hand in hand, the two boys walked together towards the stage.  
  
“You look a little pale.” Okura commented. Yasuda just smiled. “You’re fine. I know.” he mumbled before Yasuda could even open his mouth.  
  
Yokoyama explained the next song briefly and they began to rehearse the dance. Everyone notice Yasuda is a little off step and lethargic. It was on the last turn Yasuda blacked out and fell. “Yasu!” Okura’s loud voice boomed.

* * *

“It’s just exhaustion. Nothing serious.” Yasuda said as he sat on the bed with his arm connected to an IV bag.

  
Maruyama widen his eyes at the younger boy. “You have blood sugar of 2.5 and blood pressure of 85 over 55, when was the last time you eat or even sleep. I don’t mean a nap. I mean sleep.” he said seriously.  
  
Yasuda shook his head. “I can’t remember.” he answered truthfully.  
  
“You didn’t eat dinner yesterday, and you skipped lunch. Did you have breakfast?” Maruyama questioned.  
  
“This morning?” Yasuda questioned. Maruyama did not bother to answer the question. “No. I just had coffee before going to the dome.”  
  
“Oi, yesterday too you just had coffee and smoke for breakfast. Yasu, are you trying to starve yourself to death?” Shibutani said loudly.  
  
Yasuda just shrugged. “I don’t feel like eating. I don’t feel hungry.” he answered. Nishikido neared him quietly.  
  
“She was right wasn’t she. You would wollow yourself in work to forget about the sadness and pain of losing her. It hits you hard. But you were holding on to your strong facade for us.” Nishikido spoke. “You’re always there, when any of us were in trouble. We’re here for you too you know. You don’t have to bear the pain alone.” he spoke gently. Yasuda smiled yet he avoided every member’s eyes.  
  
“This was supposed to be her first concert. She was supposed to come for the opening and closing.” Yasuda said as his hand meddled with the guitar pick that uses to be around Catherine’s neck. “Since she passed I haven’t been sleeping properly or eating properly at all. I still see her every time I close my eyes.”  
  
Maruyama rolled his eyes. “What do you mean you haven’t been eating properly?” he spoke. “You haven’t been eating at all. Your last meal was lunch day before yesterday.” he complained.

* * *

“Minna. As you all know before this concert started, we lost a member in our group.” Yokoyama said at the beginning of the MC portion of their first concert. “I would like for us to observe a moment of silence to commemorate her passing.” he continued. Yasuda turned his back to the audience as Okura went to embrace him. Nishikido let his tears flow freely without feeling embarrassed. For about twenty second the huge dome went from awesomely loud to gravely silent.

  
Murakami was the one who broke the silence. “Ryo-chan, Shota. Sakura and Yamapi have something special for the two of you.” he said as he pulled the two boys to see the big screen. A short video of about five minutes in length was played. It was the happy and great memories all of them had together. An original song sung by Yamashita and Catherine and few video clips and pictures of them. At the end of the clip was a hand written ‘arigatou’ in hiragana by Catherine.  
  
The spark that was stripped from both Yasuda and Nishikido was miraculously restored. Their spirit as if were being restored by the health image of Catherine on screen. It was the way she wanted to be remembered. Both of them, Yasuda especially would do nothing less than to comply to it.  
  
“She would want us to be our best for this tour. Hime, if you’re watching over us, this is for you.” Yasuda said as his right hand held tightly on the guitar pick that used to be around Catherine’s neck, ending the MC part with a song that Catherine, Nishikido and himself composed and wrote.


End file.
